Confessions from when I was a high school senior

Photo by Frances Gunn

Confessions

Everything is currently a mess in my life, and I try to suppress that by focusing on my schoolwork and on writing and watching The Simpsons, and other television shows, and by going onto tumblr.

I’m terrified, nervous, and excited at the fact that I’m finally a senior.

I’m procrastinating on applying for scholarships.

Playing solitaire on my HTC One calms me down (and I can now see why my dad plays it often).

Sometimes I cry easily, and the tears won’t stop.

I wish I don’t have any emotions.

This is the first time since I started high school that I’m not crushing on anyone. And I actually like it that way.

I’m happy to be single once more, and not have to deal with another guy’s crap.

I barely thought about blogging during the whole school year.

I haven’t watched season eight of Doctor Who yet.

I wish for simpler times. Times when the whole world isn’t so crappy. Times when my family is doing okay. Times when I could read without having to worry much about schoolwork or college essays. Times when I could actually find it within myself to read.

I rarely take selfies.

I’m pretty effing tired of everything.

I love Taylor Swift’s new album 1989. And so far I’ve listened to that album a lot, especially during math lab (a study hall class that is more for helping with math).

The reason why I haven’t blogged as often is because this blog brings back a lot of memories. It reminds me of simpler times. And I’m not too keen to have people I know reading this, mainly my ex.

I love English class and exploring literature in a whole new way.

I like learning about how the United States government works.

I like dancing the foxtrot and the waltz in my ballroom class.

I hate taking the benchmark tests in my physics class because that doesn’t help anyone at all.

It’s nice to know that there are people who still care about me.

I oftentimes stay up past one in the morning on non-school nights. But I fall asleep easier nowadays.

I’m trying to learn the difference between what I think I want and what I really want.

I’m grateful to have a twin, despite all of our differences.

I’d be lying to myself if I said that I actually missed blogging.

I’m learning that the littlest things can make the biggest differences sometimes. No matter how quiet it seems to be.

I’m learning that you just can’t just change people.

I’m far from actually healing.

I really like my last name.

I’m not a big fan of the song, Stacy’s Mom has it going on.

I still have yet to watch The Fault in Our Stars movie.

I finally got over my ex months ago.

I’ve had a pretty rocky transition into adolescence, and an even shakier one moving into adulthood.

One of my pet peeves is when people don’t try to understand things from my side, and just automatically assume things without really asking what I think about it.

I’ve been feeling kind of dissatisfied with television shows and books and their lack of more diversity, (basically much more Asian characters that I can identify with). So that lead me to watch more youtube videos, specifically Jubillee project, Wong Fu Productions, and Anna Akana. And one k-drama that isn’t like the other ones that my mom likes to watch. (This one deals with Neurotherapy, it’s called It’s Okay, It’s Love, and it more or less accurately deals with mental disorders and what people actually say about it).

And now the weather: still trying to get rid of old songs
No Money by Cahoots feat. Roomie

- Stacy N.