A letter that I should have sent a while ago part 1

Me at Congressman John Lewis's lecture
that happened at my school.

Dear ________,
After some heartbreak (that’s more of a broken pride), I realize that I’m happier off without you. So thank you.

~ Stacy N.

And now the weather:
Happy by Pharrell Williams

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I'm tired

Looking down from a hospital from California, thinking what a sad view my grandma has from her hospital bed.

I’m tired. I’m tired of injustices. I’m tired of mean acts. I’m tired of people. I’m tired of some of my thoughts. I’m tired of being an adult. I’m tired of so many things. But not life. Never life. Because life has so many beautiful things to enjoy. A quiet, spring sunrise where it’s cold and dewy. An Arctic caterpillar finally turning into a moth after years and years of trying. The joy of making someone’s day better just by smiling at them. Finally loving yourself after years of self-doubt and internalized hate. Playing tag with little kids. Eating your favorite food after a long day of work. And feeling at peace with yourself one unexpected day.

And now the weather:
Bel Air by Lana Del Rey

~ Stacy N.

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Another semester full of stress

From almost crying in my Writing Fiction class to surviving an oral test in Vietnamese 1020. From watching interesting videos for my English 3600 class to reading Mia McKenzie’s Black Girl Dangerous book for my Gender 3500 class. From spending almost a hundred dollars on books that, for some, will turn into a dusty rock while for others, I’ll most likely read again. To finding a new study spot in the library that has a few missing tiles in the ceiling. I have a feeling that this semester is going to be a tough one.

Courses:
English 3510: Writing Fiction. A class to learn how to write fiction, particularly short stories.
Viet 1020: Beginning Vietnamese 2. Part two of the Beginning Vietnamese class, where we will continue to learn how to speak it and write it.
English 3600: Introduction to Critical Theory. Another required class for English majors, where it’s full of confusing yet interesting questions, such as, what is literature? What is reality and its relationship to literature? And how to see literature in a variety of lenses like Marxism, feminism, postcolonialism, etc.
Gender 3500: Where We Stand: Part two of Gender 2500: Where I Stand. This time, it’s going to look at various feminist topics on a broader level, such as institutional and state violence, sex and gender, what it means to be an ally, etc.

And now the weather:
Latch by Disclosure feat Sam Smith

~ Stacy N.

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I'm such a book nerd

My favorite quote from literature?

From John Green's novel Looking For Alaska
Text reads: Just like that. From a hundred miles an hour to asleep in a nanosecond. I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane.

For some reason, this quote just makes me smile. Like ridiculously out of the world smile. And if I had to tattoo one line and one line only on my body, it would be this one. All because it makes me happy.

~ Stacy N.

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Another year

Text reads: Happy Birthday
Picture by Ainhel
Font is Neou

Five years. 486 posts. One extreme makeover. One blog. One author. A few hiatuses. A few more future hiatuses. One determination to continue posting for as long as it takes. One thank you for all of those who stuck with me for however long you’ve been reading this blog. One toast that this blog will hopefully survive another five years. And one happy birthday my little talks, where without you life would be vastly different and a little boring.

And now the weather:
Sugar by Maroon 5

P.S. It’s a good thing that the couples like the band, or else it would have been very awkward.

~ Stacy N.

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Hello 2016

Text reads: Hello 2016

I fail at keeping my New Year’s resolutions. Every year I only actually complete one or two resolutions. A few I kind of completed. The rest have decided to not follow me out for the rest of that year.
Each year I try to be more SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely) . But I still don’t do most of my resolutions anyways. Maybe it has to deal with the fact that I’m a big procrastinator. Maybe it also has to deal with the fact that some of my New Year’s resolutions requires resources that I don’t have enough money for. And maybe it also deals with the fact that there are a few circumstances that will set me back all the way to negative five hundred and I have to start all over again. Well whatever the reason, those resolutions just don’t get completed.
And honestly by now, I stopped caring. From now on I’m going to let fate decide my course. And whatever happens, happens. However, there will always be specific situations where I determine my own course and I decide to go all for it. No matter what it takes. All the while, I’m going to follow one New Year’s resolution this year, and that is: be a better person. 
Whether it’s by complimenting a person; controlling my temper at home after dealing with the stresses of work and customers; smiling at someone; forgiving myself for mistakes; learning more about the world around me; etc.
It should be simple in theory, but really hard to do in reality. So I hope I survive this year.
Have a great year, or at least, a tolerable one. And Happy New Year’s!

And now the weather:
Where The Wind Blows by Coco O.

~ Stacy N.

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Goodbye 2015

Text reads: Goodbye 2015

Dear last year,
Goodbye 2015. It has been a crazy ride from graduating high school to starting college. To getting my first part-time job to visiting my family in California that I haven’t seen in forever. From unexpected lows to unbelievable highs. And all the in-betweens. It’s been one weird year that I will surely not forget in a while.
So thank you. Without that year, I wouldn’t have grown as a person.

And now the weather:
Uma Thurman by Fall Out Boy

~ Stacy N.

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