[Insert something long and insightful while I'm off planning for future blog posts, bullet journal stuff, and personal life stuff.]
~ Stacy N.
6/30/17
6/29/17
A Numbers Game
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| Photo by Negative Space |
Lately, I’ve just stopped caring because blogging isn’t a numbers game. It’s about posting whatever you want because you want to share it with the world. It’s about being you and not caring about who reads it. That’s why I’ve been posting every day for nearly a month, to help me stop caring about the stats and just be me and post whatever is on my mind.
Though, I admit it's hard. A part of me still cares about how many views and followers I have. However, I'm really trying to dissociate myself from that because numbers don't tell me who's been impacted by my posts and who actually likes it.
And now the weather:
Fire and the Flood by Vance Joy
~ Stacy N.
6/28/17
Nights like this.
For me it came at one in the morning, when I was driving home from work, the place itself becoming a tiring memory. Hamilton would play softly in the background, Utah's heat finally becoming manageable, the lights quickly passed by, while I sped down a forty mile per hour road.
It felt safe and manageable and like nothing was going to bother me for just that moment.
And now the weather:
The Chainsmokers & Coldplay - Something Just Like This COVER by Evynne Hollens
~ Stacy N.
6/27/17
Why do I blog?
 |
One of the few times when I will
willingly wear a hat.
|
To post my writing and other creative ideas somewhere.
To express my thoughts about various topics.
To learn more about myself.
To see myself change over the years (and slightly cringe) and appreciate who I am now because of it.
And now the weather:
My Kinda Lovin by CLARA
~ Stacy N.
6/26/17
How to write young adult stories in 3 simple steps
- Make sure the teenagers are human. Don’t base them off of stereotypes. They have needs, wants, desires, and flaws like everyone else in the world.
- Don’t write more than you need to. That goes for all types of writing. Don’t over-tell to the point where it’s overwhelming, but don’t under-tell to the point where it’s confusing. Try to find that perfect medium.
- Trust the reader. Trust them to know what you’re talking about. If you're telling too much, you don’t trust them enough to let them figure out what’s going on. And if you’re not saying enough, you trust the reader too much, when in reality, they’re probably very confused.
And now the weather:
~ Stacy N.
6/25/17
A dog's best friend
I didn't really feel like writing a lot, so here's a cute short film about a dog and his new, unexpected friend.
~ Stacy N.
6/24/17
To cut or not to cut (not a self harm post)
 |
| Picture by Kristina Paukshtite |
Flowers bloom during the weirdest of times; when you’re driving to work, working out at the gym, or just trying to sleep away the day’s mishaps. There it is, growing inside your head becoming little giants. Soon, it’s all you can think about.
And you could either continue watering it or cut it down and focus on something else.
And now the weather:
~ Stacy N.
6/23/17
Her
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| Picture by Josh Willink |
Kissing her felt
like dying stars and the knowledge that you were going to live
forever. Summer storms during a drought. A fragile hope that you wish wouldn’t
break. It was great, and it was terrible.
And now the weather:
~ Stacy N.
6/22/17
Who is she?
Beautiful People is a writing blog meme hosted by Sky @ Further Up and Further and Cait @ Paper Fury. Every month they ask ten questions that are designed to help us get to know our characters a lot better. Sometimes it's themed, sometimes it's not like it is this month. So, without further ado let's get started.Beautiful person of the day: Beth Angelina Dovens
Background story: She's a character I've created back in Jr. high school, and who's changed a lot throughout the years. A few of the things that remained the same though is that she's originally from the planet, Bionova, she's half fairy and half shape-shifter, and she has unusual powers. In the latest draft of the book, she has two moms, one who researches Earth and the other is a Bionovian politician. So for half the year, Beth and her moms live on Earth so her researcher-mom could do her work, and the other half of the year they live on Bionova so her politician-mom could do her job, which for the moment, is running for governor for this well-known city.
What’s their favorite place they’ve ever visited?
Earth: New York City
Bionova: the famous botanical gardens.
What’s one mistake they made that they learned from?
Not taking the time to understand things from her politician-mother's point of view. That lack of understanding creates some drama between them, but it's needed for my book to happen.
What was their favorite subject in school? Or favorite thing to learn about?
Beth is obsessed with anything flowers. Flowers help her cope with change, though it is hard to smuggle them onto Earth.
What’s their favorite flower/growing thing?
That's like asking a writer what their favorite book is, there's too many.
Have they ever made someone cry? What happened?
Beth ends up running away, which of course makes her politician-mother cry from all the worry and stress.
Would you consider them a reliable or unreliable narrator?
So far, she's been a pretty reliable narrator.
What do they dream about at night?
Ever since her researcher-mom died, Beth has been dreaming about happy (or in her own words, "taunting") childhood memories.
They’ve gone out for a “special meal.” What would they eat?
Rose soup at this local diner that's near her house on Bionova.
Do they have any distinguishing or unique talents?
On Bionova, there are different species. Each species has a specific power that pertains to them, for example, mermaids have water powers, phoenixes have fire powers, fairies teleport, shape-shifters shift into different humanoids, weres change into different animals, etc. So it's weird if you have no power, it's also weird if your power doesn't fit the power that most of your species has, and it could land you in a lot of trouble. For Beth, in particular, her power consists of changing objects into different objects, for example, she could turn a rock into a hairbrush. Which is pretty dangerous for her, if anyone else outside of her family knew.
What’s at least one thing they want to do before they die?
Become a famous botanist on both Earth and Bionova and to tell her best friend, "hey, I think I like more than as a friend." Let's see which one comes first.
And now the weather:
Once Upon A December (Piano Version)
~ Stacy N.
6/21/17
Coming Out
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| Photo by Larm Rmah |
Coming out is also a continual process. You don't come out once and suddenly the whole world knows, you have to keep on telling people throughout your lifetime. And it could either be easy or hard, it depends on who you're telling it to. Just remember your identity is not tied to you being queer, it's just one part of who you are.
Though, this makes me wonder, what about not coming out? And that's fine as well. Sometimes it's dangerous for you to come out because you know that you're not going to get the support you need and possibly get harmed in some way. Other times, it's just not needed because you feel like either everyone knows or it's just not part of your agenda.
And now the weather:
Heaven by Troye Sivan ft. Betty Who
~ Stacy N.
6/20/17
A Seattle Overview
My siblings, good friend, and I found ourselves in Seattle this past week and a half. Mainly to relax and get away from Utah's heat and to get my older sister settled in with her Microsoft internship. So here's a quick overview of what happened while we were down there that could be easily explained with a cinematic vlog but isn't.Day one: We land in Seattle; arrive at the hotel with some complications that were quickly taken care of; then we go have dinner
at a Brazillian restaurant with my family and my older sister's friends.
Day three: We ate some brunch at 13 Coins. Afterward, we check out of the hotel and then go to an apartment complex near Pioneer Square and the International District. After settling into that place, we headed down to the Chihuly Garden and Glass and marvel at the beauty of it all before going into the Space Needle, and damn was it high. Apparently, it's going to be remodeled so that the observatory is entirely made out of glass, which seems pretty trippy in my opinion. Afterward, we end up at Capitol Hill and eat at this delicious restaurant called the Deluxe Bar and Grill.
Day four: This is the first and only day where I bother walking to a gym. It was a nice gym too, but it wasn't for me. After exercising, my family and I head to a Starbucks (when in Seattle grab as much coffee as possible because it is the coffee place in the United States) and a sandwich place which was conveniently right next door. Afterward, we head back to the apartment to rest and watch Parks and Recreation, which was the main show that we watched throughout our whole week there. A few hours later, we go to University Village to go shopping for both personal use and of course Father's Day stuff. One store that I was surprised to see was the Amazon bookstore. Yes, there is a physical building for Amazon Books, that isn't the warehouse. Apparently, there are seven other locations in the U.S. It's nice because it gives you the Goodreads rating and a customer's review of the book, plus, if you're an Amazon Prime member, you get an automatic discount. So, I was able to get a sweet deal on Hamilton: The Revolution by Lin-Manuel Miranda and Jeremy McCarter. There was also a yummy pizza place called Elemental Wood Fired Pizza that we ate at later.
Day five: You could read in my blog post here.
Day six: My siblings and I take a bus to the Microsoft campus and meet up with another one of my older sister's friends. The Microsoft campus is like beeing at a university, except, you get paid, you need a badge to access some buildings (like the mixer aka the cafeteria), and there are more offices than big sweeping classrooms. There we shopped for more Father's Day gifts at the Microsoft store, hang out at the visitor center, before going to grab some cool plastic visitor badges at the Mixer. Also at the Mixer, we ate some lunch, grabbed some boba, and watch some people breakdancing. Then my older sister managed to get the day off from work, so we then went hiking for about three hours to see a lighthouse at Discovery Park (I wish the beaches there were better for swimming). My older sister, being her usual, eccentric self, ended up doing the hike in a dress and high heels, which worked out well for the most part, in her case. Afterward, we went to a yummy BBQ joint before going home.
Day ten: I tearfully hugged my older sister and my brother goodbye (not really, but it was kind of sad to separate from them), before my twin, good friend, and I head off to the airport. There we ate some okay seafood, drink some more Starbucks coffee, and of course fly back to good old Salt Lake City, Utah. And honestly, it's nice to be back, especially since I realized that I'm not a big fan of rain and cloudy days most of the time.And now the weather:
Utah's sun and ninety-degree day and also, Calvin Harris's song Summer.
P.S. I found myself playing Pokemon Go every single day since I ended up in Seattle, which is interesting though kind of boring.
~ Stacy N.
6/19/17
6/17/17
I love this country, even though at times it doesn't love me back
- Part of the reason why I stopped putting my hand over my heart whenever I hear the national anthem is because it represents a history that has repeatedly discriminated people who aren't white, able-bodied, males on a systematic level. Whether that was the three-fifths compromise, the Fugitive Slave Act of 1850, the Plessy v. Ferguson court case, the Chinese Exclusion Act, Indiana's Religious Freedom Restoration Act, Trump getting rid of the bathroom rules that protects trans* students, the many accounts of police brutality, and more. It's hard to feel patriotic towards a country that actively tries to get rid of the rights of others.
- Since Trump's election, there seems to be a rise in hate crimes. It's discouraging, heartbreaking, and frustrating whenever I'm looking through my social media, and I see whatever injustice just happened. However, I'm happy when I hear about the community gathering around to protest, to sign petitions, share it on social media, donate, march, etc. to protest against the social injustices.
- It's still a long way to go before we could get rid of prejudice, hate, and oppression (if we ever do fully get rid of it). And that is going to happen long after my lifetime, After all, Rome wasn't built in a day. I just hope that it comes sooner.
~ Stacy N.
6/16/17
6/15/17
Alexander Hamilton the biography review
Note: There are a lot of spoilers in this review, which shouldn't be surprising considering that it happened already.
- The more I read the biography, the more I realized that there are a lot of historical inaccuracies in the musical, like the fact that Burr wasn't Lee's second in the duel; Hamilton met Eliza before the ball; Angelica was already married before she met Hamilton; Hamilton was the only person at his wedding (his friends were busy dealing with the war and his family were too poor to get out of the West Indies); in the beginning, Hamilton wasn't entirely for the Constitution because of the 3/5's clause; he got sick a lot; he wrote the infamous piece against President John Adams closer to the end of Adams' first term; Philip's duel happened after the election of 1800; Hamilton and Burr prepared their duel weeks in advance, giving them plenty of time to prepare wills, finish up their business, write letters, and just prepare for death in general; as well as, other inaccuracies. Overall, I would give the musical maybe a 60-75% chance of being historically accurate.
- I kept on hearing Hamilton lyrics whenever I'm reading the novel, like "Satisfied" when the prologue started talking about how Eliza won't ever be satisfied just by looking at her husband's bust; Jefferson comes home in "seventeen, suh, suh seventeen eighty nine"; "The World Was Wide Enough" when it came to the famous Hamilton Burr duel. In fact, almost all of the songs are used at some point, including the mixtape songs.
- Some small things about the musical make more sense now. For example, when Hamilton tells Lauren, "I like you a lot," it's supposed to imply Hamilton's bisexuality, and when Jefferson says, "Sally be a lamb darling," he actually had a slave named Sally, whom he impregnated. Also, fuck Jefferson when he says that he's for the common people and hates others for living a fancy life when he's also living a fancy life (he spent a fuck ton of money in France on furniture and wine, despite the fact that he's in debt.) He's also like, "I disapprove of the practice of slavery" yet he won't free his own slaves (which there were over one hundred of), and he was very against a strong federal government but when he became president he couldn't really undo what made the government what it was then without ruining everything (like getting rid of Hamilton's financial system, "his financial system is a / Work of genius."), he also twisted the Constitution a bit so he could have a justifiable reason as to why he should continue on with the Louisiana purchase, even though he was a strict constructionist in the past.
- Also, Hamilton reminds me more of the guy who just overshares everything and takes offense at anything that belittles his honor (he didn't have much when he was younger, so what he had then he protected very fiercely). That has gotten him into newspaper wars with many people, especially Jefferson (it got to the point where Washington was like please, both of you, just stop! And both Hamilton and were Jefferson were like, yeah, we'll stop, but then they continue doing it behind Washington's back). It also led Hamilton to write two of the most damaging pieces of his political career, the Reynolds Pamphlet and Letter from Alexander Hamilton, Concerning the Public Conduct and Character of John Adams, Esq. President of the United States, [24 October 1800] (basically much "An Open Letter" from the Hamilton Mixtape).
- Alexander also reminds me of me, we're both wordy. However, his wordiness was very eloquent that almost everybody couldn't help but love it. (Apparently, everyone had time to read 60 pages of Hamilton's work whether it was about the economy or the Federalist Papers).
- Overall, I had mixed feelings about him. He's overly ambitious, writes a fuck ton in a short amount of time (how much sleep did he get at night?), is easily hurt over his honor, had one known affair with another woman while his wife and children were "absent / On a visit to her father." Yet, he cares a lot. He cares very deeply about the nation, his friends, and family. During the affair, he would feel very guilty about what he did and try to make up for it by becoming even more of a loving father and husband. Even after Eliza forgives him, he's still very caring and tries his best to be the best he can be to his family by providing them the best education and housing and giving them his valuable time. He also turned back to God and started praying more, especially after his eldest son, Phillip, died. It got to the point where Hamilton insisted on having dying prayers said over him while he died so he could, hopefully, make it to heaven and see his son, Laurens, Washington, and his mother. Plus, he was a fucking genius when it came to designing our economic system, and how our government should run (albeit, some things probably wasn't that great of an idea like the Whiskey tax, but hey it worked.)
- I love how it starts and ends with Eliza. She's a forgiving person, and I wanted to hug her and protect her. She's also like her husband in some ways, good with running their household and a few volunteer organizations she was on the board of, and cares a lot about their family. Like Hamilton, she was also very determined whether it was helping set up the Washington Monument, making sure the orphanage worked, getting money from the U.S. government for Hamilton's pay during the Revolutionary War, or working on Hamilton's biography.
- Overall, the book does a great job of covering everything in Hamilton's life, even the gritty stuff. And the way Chernow writes, it wasn't that boring because it feels like a soap opera. He also writes it in a kind of easy to understand manner, even going so far as to change what the original document's words said (with a few exceptions) so that a modern audience could read it, while still keeping the context of the piece. So if you're definitely interested in knowing more about Alexander Hamilton as a person, not just distant founding father, a famous Broadway musical character, the guy who wasn't president but feels like he was (he did have a lot of influence during Washington's presidency and most of Adams' before he got kicked out), or "a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten Spot in the Caribbean" then definitely read this book. It's a lot of information, but it's definitely worth it.
- Fun fact Ron Chernow helped check the historical accuracy for the musical and every time something wasn't historically accurate Lin-Manuel Miranda had to defend his reason for doing so.
And now the weather:
The drunken history episode of Alexander Hamilton (Full episode costs about $2.00 plus tax).
This is: Hamilton playlist by Spotify
Read More
 |
| source |
Few figures in American history have been more hotly debated or more grossly misunderstood than Alexander Hamilton. Chernow’s biography gives Hamilton his due and sets the record straight, deftly illustrating that the political and economic greatness of today’s America is the result of Hamilton’s countless sacrifices to champion ideas that were often wildly disputed during his time. “To repudiate his legacy,” Chernow writes, “is, in many ways, to repudiate the modern world.” Chernow here recounts Hamilton’s turbulent life: an illegitimate, largely self-taught orphan from the Caribbean, he came out of nowhere to take America by storm, rising to become George Washington’s aide-de-camp in the Continental Army, coauthoring The Federalist Papers, founding the Bank of New York, leading the Federalist Party, and becoming the first Treasury Secretary of the United States.Historians have long told the story of America’s birth as the triumph of Jefferson’s democratic ideals over the aristocratic intentions of Hamilton. Chernow presents an entirely different man, whose legendary ambitions were motivated not merely by self-interest but by passionate patriotism and a stubborn will to build the foundations of American prosperity and power. His is a Hamilton far more human than we’ve encountered before—from his shame about his birth to his fiery aspirations, from his intimate relationships with childhood friends to his titanic feuds with Jefferson, Madison, Adams, Monroe, and Burr, and from his highly public affair with Maria Reynolds to his loving marriage to his loyal wife Eliza. And never before has there been a more vivid account of Hamilton’s famous and mysterious death in a duel with Aaron Burr in July of 1804.
Chernow’s biography is not just a portrait of Hamilton, but the story of America’s birth seen through its most central figure. At a critical time to look back to our roots, Alexander Hamilton will remind readers of the purpose of our institutions and our heritage as Americans.
- The more I read the biography, the more I realized that there are a lot of historical inaccuracies in the musical, like the fact that Burr wasn't Lee's second in the duel; Hamilton met Eliza before the ball; Angelica was already married before she met Hamilton; Hamilton was the only person at his wedding (his friends were busy dealing with the war and his family were too poor to get out of the West Indies); in the beginning, Hamilton wasn't entirely for the Constitution because of the 3/5's clause; he got sick a lot; he wrote the infamous piece against President John Adams closer to the end of Adams' first term; Philip's duel happened after the election of 1800; Hamilton and Burr prepared their duel weeks in advance, giving them plenty of time to prepare wills, finish up their business, write letters, and just prepare for death in general; as well as, other inaccuracies. Overall, I would give the musical maybe a 60-75% chance of being historically accurate.
- I kept on hearing Hamilton lyrics whenever I'm reading the novel, like "Satisfied" when the prologue started talking about how Eliza won't ever be satisfied just by looking at her husband's bust; Jefferson comes home in "seventeen, suh, suh seventeen eighty nine"; "The World Was Wide Enough" when it came to the famous Hamilton Burr duel. In fact, almost all of the songs are used at some point, including the mixtape songs.
- Some small things about the musical make more sense now. For example, when Hamilton tells Lauren, "I like you a lot," it's supposed to imply Hamilton's bisexuality, and when Jefferson says, "Sally be a lamb darling," he actually had a slave named Sally, whom he impregnated. Also, fuck Jefferson when he says that he's for the common people and hates others for living a fancy life when he's also living a fancy life (he spent a fuck ton of money in France on furniture and wine, despite the fact that he's in debt.) He's also like, "I disapprove of the practice of slavery" yet he won't free his own slaves (which there were over one hundred of), and he was very against a strong federal government but when he became president he couldn't really undo what made the government what it was then without ruining everything (like getting rid of Hamilton's financial system, "his financial system is a / Work of genius."), he also twisted the Constitution a bit so he could have a justifiable reason as to why he should continue on with the Louisiana purchase, even though he was a strict constructionist in the past.
- Also, Hamilton reminds me more of the guy who just overshares everything and takes offense at anything that belittles his honor (he didn't have much when he was younger, so what he had then he protected very fiercely). That has gotten him into newspaper wars with many people, especially Jefferson (it got to the point where Washington was like please, both of you, just stop! And both Hamilton and were Jefferson were like, yeah, we'll stop, but then they continue doing it behind Washington's back). It also led Hamilton to write two of the most damaging pieces of his political career, the Reynolds Pamphlet and Letter from Alexander Hamilton, Concerning the Public Conduct and Character of John Adams, Esq. President of the United States, [24 October 1800] (basically much "An Open Letter" from the Hamilton Mixtape).
- Alexander also reminds me of me, we're both wordy. However, his wordiness was very eloquent that almost everybody couldn't help but love it. (Apparently, everyone had time to read 60 pages of Hamilton's work whether it was about the economy or the Federalist Papers).
- Overall, I had mixed feelings about him. He's overly ambitious, writes a fuck ton in a short amount of time (how much sleep did he get at night?), is easily hurt over his honor, had one known affair with another woman while his wife and children were "absent / On a visit to her father." Yet, he cares a lot. He cares very deeply about the nation, his friends, and family. During the affair, he would feel very guilty about what he did and try to make up for it by becoming even more of a loving father and husband. Even after Eliza forgives him, he's still very caring and tries his best to be the best he can be to his family by providing them the best education and housing and giving them his valuable time. He also turned back to God and started praying more, especially after his eldest son, Phillip, died. It got to the point where Hamilton insisted on having dying prayers said over him while he died so he could, hopefully, make it to heaven and see his son, Laurens, Washington, and his mother. Plus, he was a fucking genius when it came to designing our economic system, and how our government should run (albeit, some things probably wasn't that great of an idea like the Whiskey tax, but hey it worked.)
- I love how it starts and ends with Eliza. She's a forgiving person, and I wanted to hug her and protect her. She's also like her husband in some ways, good with running their household and a few volunteer organizations she was on the board of, and cares a lot about their family. Like Hamilton, she was also very determined whether it was helping set up the Washington Monument, making sure the orphanage worked, getting money from the U.S. government for Hamilton's pay during the Revolutionary War, or working on Hamilton's biography.
- Overall, the book does a great job of covering everything in Hamilton's life, even the gritty stuff. And the way Chernow writes, it wasn't that boring because it feels like a soap opera. He also writes it in a kind of easy to understand manner, even going so far as to change what the original document's words said (with a few exceptions) so that a modern audience could read it, while still keeping the context of the piece. So if you're definitely interested in knowing more about Alexander Hamilton as a person, not just distant founding father, a famous Broadway musical character, the guy who wasn't president but feels like he was (he did have a lot of influence during Washington's presidency and most of Adams' before he got kicked out), or "a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten Spot in the Caribbean" then definitely read this book. It's a lot of information, but it's definitely worth it.
- Fun fact Ron Chernow helped check the historical accuracy for the musical and every time something wasn't historically accurate Lin-Manuel Miranda had to defend his reason for doing so.
And now the weather:
The drunken history episode of Alexander Hamilton (Full episode costs about $2.00 plus tax).
This is: Hamilton playlist by Spotify
~ Stacy N.
6/14/17
Perks of being a twin
 |
| A picture of my twin and me at our little brother's graduation. |
- Having a natural armrest (only works if the other twin is shorter than you)
- You're never alone
- You have a best friend for life
- You are natural roommates (starting from conception)
- You could talk to your twin about anything
- You have another closet you could get your hands onto
- In other words, you share everything (which can get quite annoying)
- You could easily blame them for some of the mistakes that you did
- You also have a guinea pig who's willing to try out your bad cooking
- Ultimately, you have a special bond with someone who's been with you through thick and thin
And now the weather:
~ Stacy N.
6/13/17
A look in my life part 2 6-13-17
Sorry for the late post, the reason for that is, I decided to do another day in the life for today’s post. So here it is.
For context, I’m currently vacationing in Seattle and visiting my older sister who’s interning at Microsoft for the summer, so the times are going to be in the Pacific Time zone.
7:30 AM: Wake up (why I woke up this early after six or seven hours of sleep, I don’t even know) Go to the bathroom, come back, and just think about dogs, my family, and life.
8:00 AM: Go back to sleep and dream about dogs and my family selling veggies at Utah’s State Capitol.
10:30 AM: Wake up for real and start working on bullet journal stuff.
11:30 AM: Stop bullet journaling for a bit to get ready for the day, finish, and watch Parks and Recreation, and wait for everyone else to get ready.
12:00 PM: Leave the apartment to explore the International District and find a good Vietnamese restaurant.
12:03 PM: Walk down the street, taking some pictures along the way. I'm obsessed with the Instagram Boomerang app; it’s brought some cool pictures and hilarious ones. Whenever I record my brother, he’s either a dork that could end up in horror movies or a philosopher while my twin does the artsy poses.
12:09 PM: Make it to the Uwajimaya Market (an Asian grocery store) to look around only to end up leaving a minute later because of the crowded food stands (darn you, lunch rush). So we ended up walking down the street a bit more to end up at a Phở Hòa Noodle House.
12:13 PM: When we made it to Phở Hòa, two thoughts flashed through my mind, there are more white people here than at any of the other locations, and I like the California location more (I can’t remember which location it was.) As usual, I ordered bún thịt nướng chả giò (the main dish that I order at almost every Vietnamese restaurant that I go to), with Vietnamese iced coffee, and gỏi cuốn. Like any of the other locations, the food was still delicious, and the service was okay (you know if it’s an authentic Vietnamese restaurant if the service is okay/kind of bad but the food is still delicious. We, Vietnamese-Americans, have a slight reputation for being jerks.)
1:20 PM: My siblings and my friend finally finish eating and go out to explore some more of the International District. After a bit of walking, we end up at Yummy House Bakery, a Chinese bakery with really sweet boba (honestly, that wasn’t the greatest boba) but good desserts like flan.
1:51 PM: After a while, we left and explored the area some more before ending up at Kinokuniya Bookstore. This place has a really nice art station, perfect for bullet journaling items, as well as manga and anime collections (both in English and Japanese), tiny $11 rocks, and other items.
2:15 PM: After about twenty-four minutes or so we left and went to explore the Uwajimaya Market, which was right next door. It has both Asian products and some American products, which was useful and helped me with my homesickness.
2:42 PM: We finish shopping, walk back to the apartment, put everything away, before watching The Office. Well, technically, in my case, I worked on my bullet journal some more (which is taking forever because of procrastination, time constraints, and starting all over again because I lost my original one in a Walmart parking lot back in Utah.)
6:20 PM: After about four hours, my siblings, friend, and I get ready to go out for dinner with my older sister and her colleague. After about twenty minutes we make it out the door and order a Lyft, where, while waiting, a kind stranger complimented me on my outfit. Funny enough, my brother thought the stranger was talking to him at first.
6:58 PM: Make it to Mondello Ristorante Italiano, where we met up with my older sister, her guy friend, a female software engineer, and said engineer’s daughter. It was fun; we talked about a lot of things like Israel (where the software engineer is from), Doctor Who, what Microsoft is planning to do, and other various topics while eating delicious food like a spicy tomato soup with octopus and affogato.
9:42 PM: We finally finish and call a Lyft back to the apartment. The driver was really cool and suggested lots of places that my family, friend, and I should check out soon like whale watching.
9:57 PM: We make it back home where I am currently finishing this up while everyone else around me gets ready for bed. Soon, I’ll go to bed and probably dream about dogs some more.
Note: all pictures were taken with my phone.
And now the weather:
Come With Me Now by Kongos
Read More
For context, I’m currently vacationing in Seattle and visiting my older sister who’s interning at Microsoft for the summer, so the times are going to be in the Pacific Time zone.
7:30 AM: Wake up (why I woke up this early after six or seven hours of sleep, I don’t even know) Go to the bathroom, come back, and just think about dogs, my family, and life.8:00 AM: Go back to sleep and dream about dogs and my family selling veggies at Utah’s State Capitol.
10:30 AM: Wake up for real and start working on bullet journal stuff.
11:30 AM: Stop bullet journaling for a bit to get ready for the day, finish, and watch Parks and Recreation, and wait for everyone else to get ready.
12:00 PM: Leave the apartment to explore the International District and find a good Vietnamese restaurant.
12:03 PM: Walk down the street, taking some pictures along the way. I'm obsessed with the Instagram Boomerang app; it’s brought some cool pictures and hilarious ones. Whenever I record my brother, he’s either a dork that could end up in horror movies or a philosopher while my twin does the artsy poses.
12:09 PM: Make it to the Uwajimaya Market (an Asian grocery store) to look around only to end up leaving a minute later because of the crowded food stands (darn you, lunch rush). So we ended up walking down the street a bit more to end up at a Phở Hòa Noodle House.12:13 PM: When we made it to Phở Hòa, two thoughts flashed through my mind, there are more white people here than at any of the other locations, and I like the California location more (I can’t remember which location it was.) As usual, I ordered bún thịt nướng chả giò (the main dish that I order at almost every Vietnamese restaurant that I go to), with Vietnamese iced coffee, and gỏi cuốn. Like any of the other locations, the food was still delicious, and the service was okay (you know if it’s an authentic Vietnamese restaurant if the service is okay/kind of bad but the food is still delicious. We, Vietnamese-Americans, have a slight reputation for being jerks.)
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| Forgot to take a picture with the boba, oops. |
1:51 PM: After a while, we left and explored the area some more before ending up at Kinokuniya Bookstore. This place has a really nice art station, perfect for bullet journaling items, as well as manga and anime collections (both in English and Japanese), tiny $11 rocks, and other items.
2:15 PM: After about twenty-four minutes or so we left and went to explore the Uwajimaya Market, which was right next door. It has both Asian products and some American products, which was useful and helped me with my homesickness.2:42 PM: We finish shopping, walk back to the apartment, put everything away, before watching The Office. Well, technically, in my case, I worked on my bullet journal some more (which is taking forever because of procrastination, time constraints, and starting all over again because I lost my original one in a Walmart parking lot back in Utah.)
6:58 PM: Make it to Mondello Ristorante Italiano, where we met up with my older sister, her guy friend, a female software engineer, and said engineer’s daughter. It was fun; we talked about a lot of things like Israel (where the software engineer is from), Doctor Who, what Microsoft is planning to do, and other various topics while eating delicious food like a spicy tomato soup with octopus and affogato.
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| 10/10, would eat again. |
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| Usually, I don't like coffee flavored desserts but this is pretty good. |
9:57 PM: We make it back home where I am currently finishing this up while everyone else around me gets ready for bed. Soon, I’ll go to bed and probably dream about dogs some more.
Note: all pictures were taken with my phone.
And now the weather:
Come With Me Now by Kongos
~ Stacy N.
6/12/17
Letters part 8
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| Photo by Redd Angelo |
I could say a lot of things right now like thanks for not going down a self-destructive path even though it might sound enticing. Or it's okay to not be dating anyone right now. Or don't date anyone for the sake of being with someone, do it because you are generally interested in their personality as a whole. Or the grayness won't last forever. Days will be days and nights will be nights, and they are what you make them out to be. Be happy, be sad, be joyful, be angry, be everything that you want to be and just know that you will be loved for it, though, not so much if you messed up really badly.
And now the weather:
Love Myself (Acoustic) by Hailee Steinfeld
~ Stacy N.
6/11/17
A lovely pile of books
One problem with being an English major is that you get burnt out from reading so many books in a short amount of time, that it's hard to find a chance to read for fun. So here's a quick compilation of what I've read between March and now, which was mainly for class.
American Woman by Susan Choi
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
Dogeaters by Jessica Hagedorn
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
M. Butterfly by David Henry Hwang
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe by Charles Yu
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
Creative Writing in the Community: A Guide by Terry Ann Thaxton
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
What Do You Do with an Idea? by Kobi Yamada, Mae Besom
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
And now the weather:
The Chainsmokers & Coldplay - Something Just Like This | Channa Mereya (Vidya Vox Mashup Cover)
Read More
American Woman, this gifted writer's second book, is a novel of even greater scope and dramatic complexity, about a young Japanese-American radical caught in the militant underground of the mid-1970s.Thoughts: It's an interesting retelling of the Patty Hearst story, however, this time the story revolves around Wendy Yoshimura, a Japanese American, who helped Patty run from the police. It's exciting in some parts, especially near the end when it just focused on Jenny (aka Wendy) and Pauline (aka Patty). While it took forever to get through the middle because it dragged on much longer than it needed to. I also wanted to slam my head a few times against a wall for the blatant racism these two different characters expressed.
When 25-year-old Jenny Shimada steps out of the Rhinecliff train station in New York's Hudson Valley, the last person she expects to see is Rob Frazer, a shadowy figure from her previous life. On the lam for an act of violence against the American government, Jenny agrees to take on the job of caring for three younger fugitives whom Frazer has spirited out of California. One of them, the granddaughter of a wealthy newspaper magnate in San Francisco, has become a national celebrity. Kidnapped by a homegrown revolutionary group, Pauline shocked America when she embraced her captors' ideology, denouncing family and class to enlist in their radical cell.
American Woman unfolds the story of Jenny and her charges -- Pauline, Juan, and Yvonne, the remains of the busted revolutionary cadre -- as they pursue their destinies from an old farmhouse in upstate New York back to California. Provocative, suspenseful, and often wickedly comic, the novel explores the psychology of the young radicals -- outsiders all -- as isolation and paranoia inevitably undermine their ideals. American Woman is a tour de force with chilling resonance for readers today.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
Dogeaters by Jessica HagedornIn Dogeaters, Jessica Hagedorn has transformed her best-selling novel about the Philippines during the Marcos reign into an equally powerful theatrical piece that is a multilayered, operatic tour de force. As Harold Bloom writes "Hagedorn expresses the conflicts experienced by Asian immigrants caught between cultures...she takes aim at racism in the U.S. and develops in her dramas the themes of displacement and the search for belonging."Thoughts: The book is set in the Philippines after it became independent, showing how a country can't revert back to its original self without being influenced by the country that occupied it. An example would be how American products and media are heavily seen throughout the book. It's also a confusing book in the sense that there are a lot of characters, and it switches point of views often. Thankfully, there is a table of contents, so it's easy to make a legend of which chapter focuses on which character. The book is also interspersed with newspaper clippings and an anthropologist's thoughts about the Philippines, so you see both sides of the Filipino story, what people think it's like vs. what it's actually like.
"As sharp and fast as a street boy's razor" (The New York Times Book Review), Dogeaters is an intense fictional portrayal of Manila in the heyday of Marcos, the Philippines' late dictator. In the center of this maelstrom is Rio, a feisty schoolgirl who will grow up to live in America and look back with longing on the land of her youth.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
Based on a true story that stunned the world, M. Butterfly opens in the cramped prison cell where diplomat Rene Gallimard is being held captive by the French government - and by his own illusions. In the darkness of his cell he recalls a time when desire seemed to give him wings. A time when Song Liling, the beautiful Chinese diva, touched him with a love as vivid, as seductive - and as elusive - as a butterfly.Thoughts: It's not Madame Butterfly if that's what you're thinking, don't worry I also made the same mistake when I first heard the title. It does reference Madame Butterfly a lot though, but it twists it around in a surprising way. Instead of the "Butterfly" character immediately falling for the white Frenchman, they're pretty sassy. And then they realize that their sweetness could be used to their advantage. Overall, it's a play loosely based on a true story about the relationship between Bernard Boursicot, a French diplomat, and Shi Pei Pu, a male opera singer. And it twists gender expectations and breaks many tropes along the way.
How could he have known, then, that his ideal woman was, in fact, a spy for the Chinese government - and a man disguised as a woman? In a series of flashbacks, the diplomat relives the twenty-year affair from the temptation to the seduction, from its consummation to the scandal that ultimately consumed them both. But in the end, there remains only one truth: Whether or not Gallimard's passion was a flight of fancy, it sparked the most vigorous emotions of his life.
Only in real life could love become so unreal. And only in such a dramatic tour de force do we learn how a fantasy can become a man's mistress - as well as his jailer. M. Butterfly is one of the most compelling, explosive, and slyly humorous dramas ever to light the Broadway stage, a work of unrivaled brilliance, illuminating the conflict between men and women, the differences between East and West, racial stereotypes - and the shadows we cast around our most cherished illusions.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe by Charles YuFrom a 5 Under 35 winner, comes a razor-sharp, hilarious, and touching story of a son searching for his father . . . through quantum space-time.Thoughts: It's metafiction, it's also like the movie Inception in a way, except it's in space and there's time travel. Time travel itself being really personal and more about going back into the past to fix your mistakes/regretting the mistakes you've made, except you can't fix it because it's already in the past. The main character, Charles Yu, is also just a regular, boring guy, not some hero who saves the universe from exploding. Overall, this book breaks what we think of science fiction by making it a personal story about the past and finding your family again, all without giant explosions, traveling to many planets, and villains.
Every day in Minor Universe 31 people get into time machines and try to change the past. That's where Charles Yu, time travel technician, steps in. He helps save people from themselves. Literally. When he's not taking client calls, Yu visits his mother and searches for his father, who invented time travel and then vanished. The key to locating his father may be found in a book. It's called How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe, and somewhere inside it is information that will help him. It may even save his life.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
Creative Writing in the Community: A Guide by Terry Ann ThaxtonCreative Writing in the Community is the first book to focus on the practical side of creative writing. Connecting classroom experiences to community-based projects, it prepares creative writing students for teaching in schools, homeless centers, youth clubs and care homes. Each chapter is packed with easy-to-use resources including specific lesson plans; case studies of students working with community groups; lists of suitable writing examples; "how to..." sections; examples and theoretical applications of creative writing pedagogy and techniques; reflection questions; and writings by workshop participants. Enhanced by contributions from directors, students, and teachers at successful public programs, Creative Writing in the Community is more than an essential guide for students on creative writing courses and leaders of community-based learning programs; it is a practical demonstration of the value of art in society.Thoughts: It breaks the idea of writing as an individualistic activity by bringing the community into it. It also adds more meaning to art, and it gives others who normally wouldn't have a voice a voice. As already mentioned in the summary, it's a guide about how to do a writers in the community program, and it has essays about the effects of it. I've had to read it for my class, while also doing a similar writers in the community program where I taught seventh and eighth graders about how fun creative writing is. And it's definitely a fun program to do; however, it's also challenging especially if it's just barely starting up.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
What Do You Do with an Idea? by Kobi Yamada, Mae Besom
This is the story of one brilliant idea and the child who helps to bring it into the world. As the child's confidence grows, so does the idea itself. And then, one day, something amazing happens. This is a story for anyone, at any age, who's ever had an idea that seemed a little too big, too odd, too difficult. It's a story to inspire you to welcome that idea, to give it some space to grow and to see what happens next. Because your idea isn't going anywhere. In fact, it's just getting started.Thoughts: It's a cute little picture book about growing and expanding your idea before letting the world see it.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
According to Ponyboy, there are two kinds of people in the world: greasers and socs. A soc (short for "social") has money, can get away with just about anything, and has an attitude longer than a limousine. A greaser, on the other hand, always lives on the outside and needs to watch his back. Ponyboy is a greaser, and he's always been proud of it, even willing to rumble against a gang of socs for the sake of his fellow greasers--until one terrible night when his friend Johnny kills a soc. The murder gets under Ponyboy's skin, causing his bifurcated world to crumble and teaching him that pain feels the same whether a soc or a greaser.Thoughts: To be honest, I've read most of the book in eighth grade, but I never finished it or cared to till now. And, I can see why it's a beloved classic, it's full of characters that you could actually connect with a story that's pretty exciting and heartbreaking, and it doesn't trivialize teenagers. It's also one of the first young adult books that helped make young adult literature what it is now, and it was written by a young woman while she was still in high school. Which, I find pretty fucking cool because you don't often hear of teenagers writing about teenagers getting their work published, as well as, kickstarting a whole new literary category catered to their age group.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
And now the weather:
The Chainsmokers & Coldplay - Something Just Like This | Channa Mereya (Vidya Vox Mashup Cover)
~ Stacy N.
6/10/17
You
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| source |
And that must have scared us both for we didn’t talk to each other for weeks on end. You always sat in front of me and I would always flash a small smile and offer a hello whenever you came. Our attentions turned towards others in the classroom. The girl with an infectious smile who spoke only in riddles, the lady who saved people for a living, the Southern gentleman turned social justice advocate.
Weeks passed, heavy subject hit after heavy subject hit us each time we had class together, whether it was abuse, death, or politics. Funny enough, it was that last taboo topic that brought us together. When the president-elect made a fool of himself, we laughed over that old-school newspaper picture, talking about how he’s a walking joke. That led to other topics, which led to fears, which led to nothing.
The final came and ended, the words that I wanted to say became too late. And now, like everything else in my life you’re simply gone.
And now the weather:
In My Dreams by Ruth B. again.
~ Stacy N.
6/9/17
If it wasn't going to happen now, it was going to happen later
Content warning: death, abuse
It all started with a kiss that led to a stab or two or three, and now it turned into a funeral. A funeral that probably shouldn’t have happened but it was going to happen at some point. If not now then later.
And honestly, I can’t feel an ounce of regret or remorse or pity or even sadness at this interesting turn of events. Nor do I feel happy or glad or relieved that I’ve finished my job. But just empty about it all. If it was not going to happen now, it was going to happen later. A later that probably shouldn’t have happened so soon.
“He was a responsible young man,” his mother droned on, “always doing his work, always helping out whenever it was needed, always doing something kind for someone…” I suppressed a yawn knowing how inappropriate that would be at a black-tie event.
“It’s simply a pity that he had to go so soon,” she said, her voice cracking at the right moment. I tapped my fingers against my thigh, black upon black. Bullshit upon bullshit.
“And, oh God, I’m so sorry for letting this happen to you. I should have done better as a mother.” I tried hard not to laugh at her dramatics.
“There, there, Ms. Nguyen,” the pastor said, patting her back in a comforting way. “Would you like to-”
Ms. Nguyen shook her head, before making her way down the little stage to her proper place up front, tears already gathered in her lying, brown eyes.
“Okay, would anyone else like to talk about Jason?” he boomed to the little audience. I knew that I should go up there and talk about him. After all, it was my responsibility to do that for him considering that I was his so-called girlfriend and all that. But something in my body froze. Sweat started to gather around my pits, and I started shaking like a little leaf ready to fall. I tried to slow my breathing, but it was hard when the edges of that certain memory began to creep into my head. The one that caused me to hate stages forever.
Breathe Cindy, I told myself, just fucking breathe.
“Okay, if no one would like to say anything else then I shall conclude the ending prayers…” everyone bowed their heads and closed their eyes listening to the monotonous, useless prayer. Everyone except me. I still bowed my head like everyone else, but I kept my eyes open because if I closed them for just one second that panic attack will surely come.
“… pray over his soul that is receiving the blessing of God right at this moment….”
For a moment, I let myself miss him. From the way his infectious laughter sounded to his tousled black hair. From his intelligent brown eyes to his kindness to others that weren't me. From his pink mouth that could say many hurtful things that last a lifetime to his hands that were as soft as an angel’s wing but was actually devil like in nature. That lasted only for a moment though before the panic wrapped around me again.
“Amen.”
I rushed out of that suffocating tomb-like space wanting nothing but air and a way to stop those terrible memories from coming around. But it was too late, for just as soon I stepped outside, I broke down and sobbed. Love and regret and relief and pure hatred went in and out in and out of me mixing together in a melodious way.
For I was free, finally free from that fucking terrible monster.
Read More
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| Photo by vlanka |
And honestly, I can’t feel an ounce of regret or remorse or pity or even sadness at this interesting turn of events. Nor do I feel happy or glad or relieved that I’ve finished my job. But just empty about it all. If it was not going to happen now, it was going to happen later. A later that probably shouldn’t have happened so soon.
“He was a responsible young man,” his mother droned on, “always doing his work, always helping out whenever it was needed, always doing something kind for someone…” I suppressed a yawn knowing how inappropriate that would be at a black-tie event.
“It’s simply a pity that he had to go so soon,” she said, her voice cracking at the right moment. I tapped my fingers against my thigh, black upon black. Bullshit upon bullshit.
“And, oh God, I’m so sorry for letting this happen to you. I should have done better as a mother.” I tried hard not to laugh at her dramatics.
“There, there, Ms. Nguyen,” the pastor said, patting her back in a comforting way. “Would you like to-”
Ms. Nguyen shook her head, before making her way down the little stage to her proper place up front, tears already gathered in her lying, brown eyes.
“Okay, would anyone else like to talk about Jason?” he boomed to the little audience. I knew that I should go up there and talk about him. After all, it was my responsibility to do that for him considering that I was his so-called girlfriend and all that. But something in my body froze. Sweat started to gather around my pits, and I started shaking like a little leaf ready to fall. I tried to slow my breathing, but it was hard when the edges of that certain memory began to creep into my head. The one that caused me to hate stages forever.
Breathe Cindy, I told myself, just fucking breathe.
“Okay, if no one would like to say anything else then I shall conclude the ending prayers…” everyone bowed their heads and closed their eyes listening to the monotonous, useless prayer. Everyone except me. I still bowed my head like everyone else, but I kept my eyes open because if I closed them for just one second that panic attack will surely come.
“… pray over his soul that is receiving the blessing of God right at this moment….”
For a moment, I let myself miss him. From the way his infectious laughter sounded to his tousled black hair. From his intelligent brown eyes to his kindness to others that weren't me. From his pink mouth that could say many hurtful things that last a lifetime to his hands that were as soft as an angel’s wing but was actually devil like in nature. That lasted only for a moment though before the panic wrapped around me again.
“Amen.”
I rushed out of that suffocating tomb-like space wanting nothing but air and a way to stop those terrible memories from coming around. But it was too late, for just as soon I stepped outside, I broke down and sobbed. Love and regret and relief and pure hatred went in and out in and out of me mixing together in a melodious way.
For I was free, finally free from that fucking terrible monster.
And now the weather:
An angel's smile is what you sell / You promise me heaven, then put me through Hell / ... / Shot through the heart / And you're to blame / You give love a bad name
~ Stacy N.
6/8/17
Ten ways to win my heart
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| Photo by priscila stain |
1. Books
2. Being an intersectional feminist.
3. Food
4. Hamilton: An American Musical
5. Being passionate about your interests
6. Music
7. Supporting those who needs it.
8. Patience, honesty, and being genuine to yourself
9. Dogs and cats
10. Art
And now the weather:
Superficial Love by Ruth B.
~ Stacy N.
6/7/17
Racial performance
Back in February in my Asian American Literature class, we talked about racial performance. Normally we act slightly differently around everyone we're with whether or not you notice it. Racial performance, on the other hand, deals more with how people of color think how they’re supposed to act based on a perceived cultural consensus of their race, especially around other people of color. Key and Peele deftly points this out in their “Phone Call” video when they start using more black vernacular around each other even though it's not part of their everyday speech. Same when Jessica and Louis Huang get “success” perms in the Fresh Off the Boat episode, “Success Perms” even though at that time of their life they were not yet successful.
That made me think of all the ways I was putting up a racial performance. A common one that I could think of was whenever someone asked for my major, I would always say“English, but I’m also minoring in business." That little business tidbit makes me think that hey I’m not completely failing my race (aka my parent’s expectations), I’m still going into one of the four major career fields (medical, STEM, business, and law) albeit in a nontraditional one that deals more with the publishing industry. Another one would be whenever I see an older Vietnamese person who works at a store or a restaurant I always say, “cảm ơn (thank you)” to them to subtly let them know that yes I am also Vietnamese and I’m not completely failing in not speaking my mother tongue. I also become a bit quieter and reserved around them, as one does when you’re around elders.
By now it's become a habit that I can't easily break because it's so ingrained in my system. And I'm not sure if I'll ever stop doing it because, to a certain extent, I feel like I have to make up for being a "bad" Asian who doesn't normally fit the model minority stereotype. Even though I know it's dumb, and that there's no such thing as a bad Asian.
By now it's become a habit that I can't easily break because it's so ingrained in my system. And I'm not sure if I'll ever stop doing it because, to a certain extent, I feel like I have to make up for being a "bad" Asian who doesn't normally fit the model minority stereotype. Even though I know it's dumb, and that there's no such thing as a bad Asian.
~ Stacy N.
6/6/17
So, where exactly are you from?: Microaggressions in the workplace
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| Photo by Peter Heeling |
Note: I've never said any of the sarcastic replies back because I don't want any of the customers ever reporting me to my bosses, even though I'm sure my bosses will take my side if they hear of it.
Non-Asian guy: *Says something in Mandarin Chinese*
Me: *Tilts head* What?
Non-Asian guy: *repeats whatever he said in Mandarin*
Me: ... I'm sorry, but I'm Vietnamese.
Non-Asian guy: *Big eyes and starts to apologize profusely before going into the auditorium to watch his movie*
"You speak really good English." Thank you, I'm pretty sure living in Utah my whole life has a huge influence on that.
"Are you Filipino?" So far, this is the closest country that I've gotten.
"You're Chinese, ... Japanese?" Neither.
"Where are you from?" Excuse me, but stop thinking that I'm a perpetual foreigner, I'm not!
"So what kind of kung fu do you do?" None, but I'm tempted to learn now.
(Not so much a microaggression but an annoyance.)"Sushi!" Even though I clearly handed my coworker a cup of noodles. That particular coworker has a history of saying various microaggressions to me throughout his time here.
"What is that? Is that Chinese food?" Yes, totally, every type of Asian cuisine is Chinese food and must be Panda Express.
One time when I was on the cash register, this white guy started bowing to me after everything he said. It got annoying, but I couldn't say anything about without coming off as rude.
Another time, while I was helping out with another customer, these two white guys that my coworker was helping just openly stared at me while waiting for their food. It made me feel like a foreign novelty, which isn't a pleasant feeling to feel.
One night my coworkers and I were talking about forming a fake band, and one of them said, "she could be the Japanese character who jumps up and looks cute." My thoughts: yes, I'm totally Japanese, nothing but Japanese all the way.
"Oh, I love eating Asian cuisine" person doesn't proceed to be specific about what kind of Asian cuisine they like. My thoughts: Yeah, totally, Asia is only one big country that mainly consists of East Asians (Chinese, Korean, and Japanese) and not Southeast, South, West, North Asia.
Coworker faking a really bad Asian accent: Do you want a wanton?
My thoughts: Why do I bother with this place?
"What kind of Asian are you?" One who's annoyed by microaggressions like that.
And here's an extra one for the kicks of it.
This microaggression didn't happen at work but while I was walking to my car after studying in the library for some time:
Random guy: Where are you from?
Me: Here, but my family is from Vietnam.
Random Guy: Welcome to America!
In my head: Didn't you just hear what I just said?
Me: Uhh, thanks. You know I was born and raised in Utah.
Random Guy: Oh cool...
And now the weather:
Disney Princess in their "original" voice, age, and historical era
~ Stacy N.
6/5/17
Late nights leads to deeper reflections
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And when I tell people that I don't really watch movies in my spare time, they're always surprised. "But you work in a movie theater, and you get to see all the movies for free!"
"True," I say, "but I don't often have the time to go."
This leads to Karl Marx's concept of reification. Reification being where living beings are objectified, in other words, it's another way of saying objectification/thingification, the opposite of personification. If I remember correctly, it was used to objectify people to their jobs (or was that more alienation?). For example, little kids thinking that their teacher lives at the school or how a factory worker is nothing but a figurative robot. In this case, people thinking I'm at the movie theater all the time because of working at one.
It's weird to think about, how you can't help but unconsciously objectify people to their jobs and not see them as fully human. And a suggestion to stop that kind of thinking would be to be aware of it and then see the person working at the counter, behind that desk, and anywhere else as a human being full of thoughts, wishes, hopes, dreams, and wants same as you.
And if we saw the world in that empathetic light more often, maybe the world wouldn't be so crappy like it is now.
And now the weather:
Hold Back The River by James Bay
~ Stacy N.
6/4/17
A Bionovian Fairy tale retelling
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| Photo by Andrew Collins |
Once upon a time, there was a young mother reading to her daughter in a wooden house on the outer edges of the biggest city in the world, Mỹ Tuy.
“Once upon a time, there was-,” the young mother began before her ever-skeptical daughter interrupted her.
“Má why does it start that way?” It was hard to not love her for it. For her eyes were always brown and bright the wires in her head constantly connecting every little piece that Bionova can offer.
“Because that’s the way the author wrote it,” má said with a small smile, still not quite used to her daughter’s ever-questioning mind.
“Who’s the author?”
“Some Earthen person named the Grimm Brothers.”
“Who names their kid the Grimm Brothers?”
“I don’t know con, I don’t know.”
“Why don’t you don’t know?”
“Because I’m not some wizard con. Now can we get back to the story?” She asked staring down into little Mai’s eyes. The dim light made má’s eyes darker than normal, a hidden evil lurked beneath the surface. Little Mai shut up knowing better than to push her má when she gets like that. The red bruise on her skinny, brown wrist a good reminder of this.
“Okay, good,” má said clearing her throat. She relaxed her hands not realizing that she had been gripping the book’s hardcover the whole time. “Once upon a time, there was this king and his husband who tried for many, many years.”
“How many is many?” Little Mai said unable to help herself.
“I don’t know, now please don’t interrupt,” má said glancing down at Little Mai. “Now, where was I? Oh yeah. Okay, for many, many years trying to conceive a child till one day it worked and King Phillip was pregnant.”
“What did they do má? Did they go to some weird dragon voodoo or…?”
“It was a joyous day,” má said ignoring what her daughter just said. “That they decided to invite everyone they knew to a giant party to celebrate when the little princess was born. That is except for the Seelie queen because the kings still didn’t appreciate the fact that she didn’t invite them to her wedding. So, as everyone was celebrating and giving the little princess a variety of presents like Brownie-made toys, elfin shoes, dragon fire...” she continued to list many more Bionovaian treats but stopped when Little Mai cleared her own throat, her foot tapping against her silver wooden bed.
“Oh right, sorry. Where was I again? Okay, so during the celebration the queen came by angry as usual but this time there was a…”
~.~.~.~
Everyone is dead.
And from the looks of it, they’ve been dead for a while. As everyone rested in their graves, I’ve been asleep for who knows how long, dreaming morbid dreams, and waiting for some other royal charming to non-consensually kiss me awake. However, there is no royal charming; Bionova has turned into what má would call an Earthen Eden paradise minus the Adam and Eve; and the demon of this story is the Seelie queen, who does not care for my existence ninety-nine percent of the time. And I could care less for her either.
Picking up my tattered fairy tale book, I settle beside the rocks near the waterfall. For a moment, I thought I heard mermaid giggles and saw scaly feet going deeper into the water, but it was just my imagination.
~.~.~.~
“A what má?” Little Mai asked snuggling into her má’s arms.
“A hint of evil,” má said lightly touching her daughter’s nose. Little Mai rolled my eyes thinking, of course, it would involve evil, like all great stories should.
“When the queen stalked up to the little girl she smiled, just like this,” má would then twist her thin brown lips into the scariest grimace she could manage, “and then tapped the girl on the head, once, twice,” má said tapping Little Mai’s head. “While everyone watched horrified wondering about all the possibilities that could have happened. For you see-”
“I know má, the queen is the most powerful being in the world, blah, blah, blah. She could zap us both in the eyes if she really wanted to.”
“Right,” she smiled, “And after she did that, she then turned around and left without saying anything, that creepy little smile still on her face.”
~.~.~.~
As I got to the part where the royal charming was killing the evil dragon queen, I hear a, “hello,” right behind me. I jump, still not used to her silent presence.
“Hi,” I say, straining my neck to see her clearly. It still amazes me how casually she dresses and yet how fitting she is to all the scary descriptions that I’ve heard about her. Her subtle anger, her silence, her monotone expression. Even the silver trees behind her can’t help but bow with fear.
“How are you?” she asks not bothering to come any closer to me. I blink still not quite believing that she’s right there.
She raises her eyebrows, still waiting for my answer. I gulp before stumbling over my next words. “I-I’m fine. How are you? Umm, why are you talking to me after-?”
“After not talking to you all this time?” I nod, curious about her answer. For some reason, I could feel my insides boil which is not good.
A hint of a smile appears on her lips, “Even a queen gets bored.”
I scoff, “but you have everything you could ever want in the world. A nice castle, servants, an unlimited amount of money, every piece of technology, books.” At that last statement, I raise my fairy tale book into the air.
“Yes, yes,” she says waving her hand flippantly into the air. “But those only meet my material wants not my intellectual or social needs that another being can offer.”
“So, that is where I come in.”
“Exactly, and so far, you’re a disappointment.”
I roll my eyes, “I’m sorry that I’m not an aristocrat, your majesty.”
She sighs and moves a bit closer, I blink again, realizing that she’s on a small cloud a few inches above the dry ground. “Don’t bother with titles, peasant. As far as I’m concerned, we are the only two people left on this planet.” Psh, calling me a peasant, what kind of elitist term is that? I think to myself, not noticing the soft dents on the book’s pages.
“Fine, your majesty, but on one condition.” She raises one of her sharp eyebrows. “I’ll only do it if you’re not a hypocrite yourself.”
“Then what would you like to be called, peasant?” Gah, that term is starting to grate on my nerves.
“Mai, just call me Mai.”
“Fine, Mai,” she says as if my name tasted like dirt. “Please call me Tiên.”
I blink a couple of times, not sure if the queen just gave me her real name or not. But the water isn’t exploding in anger, the trees aren’t crouching in fear, and the air under the golden dust mite sky doesn’t seem stifling like what legends say would happen if the queen revealed her real name. So, I’m good for the moment. I get to live another day on this empty planet.
And now the weather:
Young God by Halsey
And now the weather:
Young God by Halsey
~ Stacy N.
