Marriage isn't for everyone

Photo by Ben Rosett on StockSnap

 

Dear me,

 

Marriage isn't for everyone. It just isn't for me. And honestly, I felt so much relief when I discovered that part about myself this year. It started with reading an essay by Jia Tolentino in her book Trick Mirror where she talks about the delusions of marriage or more specifically about the wedding industry. But in it, she also talks about how she discovers that marriage isn't for her, ironically while she was at a friend's wedding. However, she always felt married to her partner. And she doesn't need a paper to define that. 

I don't need a paper to define my relationship with my partner either. Nor social media posts gushing about how sweet and amazing he is. (Let's face it, he is annoying, but he cares a lot, and his heart is in the right place. Also, he does admit that he is annoying. And I am annoying too, so it works out.) Plus, I never actually dreamed of marriage or having a partner beside me for the rest of my life. However, when my partner came into my life, I knew I wanted us to grow together and see where this road takes us. Hopefully to old age, but if not, that's fine too and it was a pleasure to have been by his side for as long as life takes us.

One thing that annoyed me though, is the fact that as soon as my partner and I started dating, everyone wanted to know when we were getting married next, especially our families. And that pressure got to my head, and honestly, it made me anxious because it's supposed to be the next thing that we have to do. Even though I really did not want that. I just did not know how to say no to them. I still do not know how to say no honestly. But it does feel nice to make a choice that fits us. And just us.

 

And now the weather:

Grow As We Go by Ben Platt

~ Stacy N.