What I've learned while working in a bookstore (Especially a big one.)

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- How far from romantic it is. (It's no stepping on a wall ladder and rolling over like in that one Beauty and the Beast scene.)

- How dusty the whole place can get very quickly. Literally, you're just breathing in dust all day.
- How very dry your hands can become because of all the books and dust (as you may notice, it's not very humid inside of one for good reasons)
- You don't read during your shift most of the time.

- You have homework: reading. Albeit, it's any book that you want.

- How heavy books get.

- So many paper cuts and cardboard cuts.
- You're a  nerd, they're a nerd, everyone is a nerd.
- How much stuff we receive on a daily basis and how fast they can sell out.
- New books are published on a Tuesday and new music come out on a Friday.
-  It's still very much a retail business.

- You have to love reading in the first place to even be working here.

- The smell of books is amazing and very calming.

- Also the smell of books can be like a laxative called the Mariko Aoki phenomenon. Mix that with coffee and our bathrooms are always seeing brown every single day.
- It's hard to choose something for employee recommendations because there are so many books you want to recommend.
- Yes, people still buy books, a bookstore isn't just for looking around in.

- Book tok + covid pandemic = very high sales. And it's still going strong. It also helps the fact that people realize that looking at a screen all day can be very tiring.
- Bookstores are community centers that Amazon did not realize when they temporarily had their brick-and-mortar stores.
- All the interesting book requests we can get.

- Big bookstore chains are just as important because it's one of the few places that can truly offer a wide selection of anything and everything like indie authors, local authors, manga, and even music, games, and gift product.
- There is a 100% chance that there's a book for that, but unfortunately we most likely don't have it if it's super obscure or out of print.
- There's a lot of stuff you want to buy, but can't quite afford with your paycheck even with the discount.

- There are quite a bit of people who will mistake a bookstore for the library, even if there is a library literally right next door to you.
- There are more movies and shows based on books than you've expected.
- There's most likely a book for everybody you know if you look hard enough.
- How many political/domestic affairs books have come out since Trump has become president (a bit unheard of for a president) and it's mainly the older generation buying them.
- How many books James Patterson "writes" in a year (it's a lot more than Stephen King and Nora Roberts.)

- James Patterson loves to release his books on a Monday instead of the usual Tuesday date that everyone else follows.
- How an author can be in multiple genres at once.
- How the same title can be in multiple places at once (like both kids and adult or kids and young adult), all that's different is the cover and the size.
- There's also a magazine for everything.
- There's most likely a game for it too and a plush animal and a bookmark and just buy the whole gift department, please. 
- How very, very, very busy it can get during the holiday season.

- It's better to start your shopping early so you can easily get what you want in time.
- How awkward it can be sometimes to talk to customers. (Oh the stories I can tell with that.)
- How messy the book floor can get very quickly.

- How sometimes you can't even trust the computer about if you have the correct amount of so and so in the store.

- Bibles, Robert Greene books, manga, and coloring books. What do they have in common? People love stealing them for whatever reason.

- It feels like I'm a security guard more times than naught.

- The people who work in a bookstore still very much enjoy being and shopping in a bookstore despite all the craziness.
- How very fulfilling it is when someone picks up a book that you've personally recommended and they actually love it.

And now the weather:

gold rush by Taylor Swift

~ Stacy N.

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It's in the little things

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Dear younger me,

Things that I never noticed make up a long-term relationship till now*:

- Joining AAA together on the same account. 

- Moving in with each other and being on the same lease

- Going to the same mechanic. 

- Taking each other out to things that excite the other person because you want to see the joy on their faces.

- Cuddling with each other every night because it helps us sleep. 

- Finishing the last of the whole milk even though we're both lactose intolerant. (My butt and the toilet were not very happy with that.)

- Helping make a dish even though the smell gives you a headache. 

- Giving each other space to do our own activities.

- Getting the same shared apps on our phones so we both can be equally annoyed by the home security system while scanning receipts to earn points for fun things and enjoying the clean air from our air purifier.

- Watching a million shows together and trusting the other person doesn't watch it without us.

- Farting in front of each other. 

- Still accepting each other after seeing the other person at their worst and lowest points.

- Taking care of the other person when they're sick and having them take care of you too. (Even if said person was the one who got you sick in the first place.)

- Getting the other person their favorite snacks every time you go out just because.

- Laughing at the dumbest things.

- Trusting that the other person won't crash your car when they drive it. (Especially if said car is a fancy-ass luxury vehicle.)

- Taking accountability and responsibility and a willingness to change when you messed up, especially if it hurt those closest to you.

- Learning how to apologize sincerely and not backhandedly.

- Creating boundaries and respecting the other person's boundaries.

- Being comfortable with each other in all kinds of situations and environments. (Note to self: avoid the bathroom for a little bit when he's pooping though.)

- Helping each other out with the chores and trying to not make it too heavy-handed to the point where one person is doing most of the work.

- Lots of kisses. xoxo xoxo

- Also a lot of I love yous, drive safe, be careful, and what not. 

- Sharing a lot of streaming services together, might as well throw in Nintendo too. 

- Trusting that your partner is perfectly capable of taking care of themselves while you're not there.

- Sharing a bunch of videos and memes with each other, even if we're right next to each other.

- Sharing a Costco membership with each other.

- And many other things, but overall we're still learning more about each other while still growing up alongside each other and loving each other even when the clouds are gray and stormy as they pass over the sky. 

*Different for every relationship.

And now the weather:

 Little Bit More by Suriel Hess

~ Stacy N.

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To all the guys I've seriously considered

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Dear #1, 

You were the light switch. You turned me on, but also off. It was a static shock when I first met you, even though we never touched that first day we met. Or technically it was a click.

Turns out that having the same birthday means having the same similarities like being natural flirts and easily making connections with other people. And I couldn't handle that at the time. Ironically enough I was also unintentionally talking to other guys during our time together. It led nowhere of course because it was just you. 

From, 

The hypocrite

Dear #2, 

We were never a thing, even though I wanted us to be. You were a wildfire, or was it a controlled burn? Anyway, there was also a spark between us. And like fire, it took a long time for you to burn and eventually fizzle away into nothing. I hope you're doing alright. And thanks for listening to me during that tumultuous time when America went even more downhill. 

Best wishes, 

Someone just as destructive

Dear #3, 

You're our favorite dumpling place. A random experience, but I can never get enough, and it's always in my mind. I joke that I moved here because of that place, but we all know it was because of you. Thank you for sticking by my side and for being so delicious and for feeling like home. To many more years.

Xoxo, 

You know who 

And now the weather: 

dreamy night by Us The Duo (a LilyPichu cover)

~ Stacy N.

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Seattle has grown on me

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Dear me,

Seattle has grown on me. The other day when I was on the bridge looking at the two sports stadiums and the city skyscrapers, with a bit of the Puget Sound water peeking through, I couldn't help but feel a bit of calmness and peace. And it made me realize that there are things that I love about the city despite the Seattle freeze and traffic and the narrowness of everything. In no particular order, here they are.

- The food here is pretty good, especially Dough Zone and the seafood. I also love how there are more places to find durian desserts. Just don't expect the food scene to be on the same level as California or New York, however. I also still miss bomb ass Mexican food that the Southwest has. But that makes me determined to find the best Mexican food that this place offers (a few places have come pretty damn close.)

- I love the glass and the reflection of it all, and how it sparkles in a way. Making up for the fact that you could barely see the stars at night, but hey city lights won't blow up and destroy everything nearby the way stars inevitably do.

- I love how everyone loves being outside. It reminds me of Utah in a way, with all the outdoorsyness.  Whenever it's sunny (and surprisingly there's been a lot of sun lately) there are so many people out. No matter what time of year it is or how cold it is.

- There's always something going on event-wise. So if you're ever bored it's easy to find something to do.

- This is one nerdy ass place. Roleplaying games are super popular here along with a bunch of places to game at. Back in Utah, I only know of one place and it doesn't have good boba tea. Please just get their coffee if you ever happen upon it.

 

- There's a lot of diversity, albeit microaggressions can still happen. The other day, a white customer told me that Martin isn't a Chinese name. I promptly told her that one of my Asian friends is literally named Martin. She bowed out after that.

This leads me to my next point, this is someone's opinion that I heard on the radio the other day, but people here do not like to admit that they messed up when you do address their microaggressive comment. The person then unintentionally does more racist shit that albeit is nice in intention, but it doesn't quite work out sometimes. 

Plus, the history of Asians in the Pacific Northwest is not pretty. The book, The Making of Asian America by Erika Lee has a general history of it. And the Wing Luke Museum of the Asian Pacific American Experience delves more into the local history.

There's always been kicking us out because of racist stereotypes and being angry that jobs are supposedly taken. And guess what, some of that sentiment still remains (you cannot just get rid of racism that easily.) An example would be when the planning officials were trying to make the Chinatown International District even smaller by increasing the size of the homeless shelter nearby. It didn't work out, but that doesn't stop people from trying again in the future.

- I do love how people band together and fight for what they believe in. They genuinely want a better future. And they will do whatever to ensure that they are heard to make sure that does happen. And that resulted in a lot already like a higher minimum wage, better protections for workers, guaranteed paid sick leave, and help in getting out of abusive situations, amongst other things. However, there's always more that can be done.

- I love the stories behind the Pacific Northwest, especially the haunted ghost stories (even though I'm still skeptical about it.) It's also still quite interesting to me that this place has one of the highest numbers of serial killers around. This makes sense cause the state literally gives off spooky, haunted, serial killer vibes with the cloudiness, vast forests and mountains, and fog and rain. 

- This city is very dog-friendly/pet-friendly. Every day I see a lovely dog and I just want to give them all the pets they deserve. I've also seen cats and bunnies out in public. And in my personal experience, it's hard to find an apartment complex that doesn't allow pets.  

- I love how the Pacific Northwest loves itself. As in it's very big on localness, buying local, supporting local, etc. At a lot of malls, you will find a Made in Washington store. There's always a farmers market happening, no matter what time of year. At the chain bookstore where I work, there are a lot of books by local authors that we proudly sell. And it's not just the big ones like Julia Quinn and Marissa Meyer, but a lot of smaller authors too. In other words, there's a big sense of pride in everything and everywhere. 

- I love how queer this community is. It's well known that Seattle is one of the gayest cities in the United States and it definitely shows in a lot of ways from drag shows during brunch, queer clubs, pride month, queer books, etc. And it's refreshing to not have to explain my identity or have to hide in a way. Though, it does feel like I'm hiding sometimes when on the outside it looks like a straight-ass relationship.

- This community is very open to sex and alcohol. There are sex shops that are very bright and open and full of knowledgeable people. And I feel safe around them because they're also queer and they're women and I finally feel listened to. Even when meeting new people, some of them don't shy away from talking about their sex lives. And it's nice to know that I'm not alone in a way. While with alcohol, it's nice to know how easy it is for me to get access to it. Coming from Utah, I could only get the stronger stuff at liquor stores, and they have limited hours and are closed on Sundays and holidays. So if you didn't plan ahead, you're screwed. 

- I love how they're making attempts to make public transportation more accessible and make Seattle more walkable (which makes driving a nightmare not going to lie.) Though it's far from perfect and it will still take a long time. And even though the city had a chance to start earlier, at least they're trying now.

- Something really random, Costco. It was started in this state. There is a Kirkland, Washington and that is the name behind the Costco Kirkland brand. And as a result, there are a lot of Costcos here and there's a variety of things that I can't quite find at other Costcos I've been to. Especially all the Asian snacks like bánh pía and instant boba. 

- People volunteer all the time. They give back to the community because it has provided so much for them. Yes, sometimes it is a requirement for work or school, but it's still nice to see people willing to do it. Plus, if I can help at least one person's day feel a bit better that means a lot.

- The lack of a fashion sense. There's a reason why Fashion Week does not occur in Seattle. People will dress comfortably, no matter the place or event. At this point, expect people to dress down at fancy restaurants. The first time I saw that happen, I was very surprised. With the rain and cloudy weather, it is better to dress comfortably and warmly though.

- The art and culture and literacy scene. I've found myself exploring a few of the bookstores around here and checking out the art scene and learning more about all the music that has come out of this place. And I'm still in awe because of how immense it is. It's inspiring in a way. 

All in all, I somehow found a community here. Though it is interesting to see how true the Seattle freeze is and how reserved everyone is because of it. And at this point, I'm starting to see it in myself. There are also still a lot of problems, but people care a lot to help fix them. And that right there is reason enough to stay. The grass can definitely be greener on this side if you're willing to put in the effort to make it so.

And now the weather: 

Moomin Valley Theme Song (I'm Far Away) by MØ

 ~ Stacy N.

P.S. Thank you my love for bringing me here. 

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Adulting is expensive

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Dear me,

Adulting is expensive. Inflation is inflation. Prices still go up. And I'm left wondering how I ever got here. It doesn't help that I live in one of the more expensive metropolises in the US, but I guess that's the price I get for wanting to fulfill my big-city fantasy. There are also other reasons involved like love, family drama (when isn't there family drama with me though), and wanting new experiences and consensual challenges.

You know what though? I still wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world. I get a freedom and an independence I thought I was never really that confident to have in the first place. All the while, I get to do it with the people I love and trust by my side. So let's continue on continuing on, one day at a time. 

And now the weather:

40 Winks by Marla

~ Stacy N.

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