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Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

6/24/23

There's a fuzzy spiral in my mind...

Photo by David Kopacz on Pexels
... And I don't know if I can ever control it even with all of the resources that are at my fingertips. Sometimes I just want to rest forever rather than deal with it. However, there is still so much to life that I want to explore. Especially with you. ❤️

And now the weather:

~ Stacy N.

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5/27/23

Space in relationships


Photo by Meruyert Gonullu from Pexels

Dear younger me who was first getting into her first serious relationship, 

You don't realize just how much physical space can affect your relationship, especially if you live together. A studio is nice and cheap, but it's also nice to go into a room to do your own thing away from your own partner for a bit. Don't forget to do your own hobbies, play your own games, and talk to your own friends who also aren't friends with your partner. In other words, don't be glued to your partner's side every single second of the day. That will breed resentment, as you soon realize at some point in time.
At the same time, don't forget to make intentional time for your partner. As in do date nights/date-like activities together like watching planes and eating snacks. Give a kiss and cuddle every time you all wake up and as soon as you get home. Because as you also realize there is never enough time together amidst all the craziness of work, volunteering, and other different types of hobbies you two do outside of each other.
It's weird trying to balance it all, but you make it work. It's hard at times, but as long as you two communicate with each other, it's fine.

And now the weather:

~ Stacy N.

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3/24/23

It's in the little things

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels
Dear younger me,
Things that I never noticed make up a long-term relationship till now*:
- Joining AAA together on the same account. 
- Moving in with each other and being on the same lease
- Going to the same mechanic. 
- Taking each other out to things that excite the other person because you want to see the joy on their faces.
- Cuddling with each other every night because it helps us sleep. 
- Finishing the last of the whole milk even though we're both lactose intolerant. (My butt and the toilet were not very happy with that.)
- Helping make a dish even though the smell gives you a headache. 
- Giving each other space to do our own activities.
- Getting the same shared apps on our phones so we both can be equally annoyed by the home security system while scanning receipts to earn points for fun things and enjoying the clean air from our air purifier.
- Watching a million shows together and trusting the other person doesn't watch it without us.
- Farting in front of each other. 
- Still accepting each other after seeing the other person at their worst and lowest points.
- Taking care of the other person when they're sick and having them take care of you too. (Even if said person was the one who got you sick in the first place.)
- Getting the other person their favorite snacks every time you go out just because.
- Laughing at the dumbest things.
- Trusting that the other person won't crash your car when they drive it. (Especially if said car is a fancy-ass luxury vehicle.)
- Taking accountability and responsibility and a willingness to change when you messed up, especially if it hurt those closest to you.
- Learning how to apologize sincerely and not backhandedly.
- Creating boundaries and respecting the other person's boundaries.
- Being comfortable with each other in all kinds of situations and environments. (Note to self: avoid the bathroom for a little bit when he's pooping though.)
- Helping each other out with the chores and trying to not make it too heavy-handed to the point where one person is doing most of the work.
- Lots of kisses. xoxo xoxo
- Also a lot of I love yous, drive safe, be careful, and what not. 
- Sharing a lot of streaming services together, might as well throw in Nintendo too. 
- Trusting that your partner is perfectly capable of taking care of themselves while you're not there.
- Sharing a bunch of videos and memes with each other, even if we're right next to each other.
- Sharing a Costco membership with each other.
- And many other things, but overall we're still learning more about each other while still growing up alongside each other and loving each other even when the clouds are gray and stormy as they pass over the sky. 

*Different for every relationship.

And now the weather:

~ Stacy N.

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3/18/23

To all the guys I've seriously considered

Photo by Min An on Pexels
Dear #1, 
You were the light switch. You turned me on, but also off. It was a static shock when I first met you, even though we never touched that first day we met. Or technically it was a click.
Turns out that having the same birthday means having the same similarities like being natural flirts and easily making connections with other people. And I couldn't handle that at the time. Ironically enough I was also unintentionally talking to other guys during our time together. It led nowhere of course because it was just you. 
From, 
The hypocrite

Dear #2, 
We were never a thing, even though I wanted us to be. You were a wildfire, or was it a controlled burn? Anyway, there was also a spark between us. And like fire, it took a long time for you to burn and eventually fizzle away into nothing. I hope you're doing alright. And thanks for listening to me during that tumultuous time when America went even more downhill. 

Best wishes, 
Someone just as destructive

Dear #3, 
You're our favorite dumpling place. A random experience, but I can never get enough, and it's always in my mind. I joke that I moved here because of that place, but we all know it was because of you. Thank you for sticking by my side and for being so delicious and for feeling like home. To many more years.

Xoxo, 
You know who 

And now the weather: 

~ Stacy N.

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11/30/19

My body

Photo by Sarah Pflug
I admit I get a bit self-conscious about my body. I try not to show it, but it's hard sometimes. Yes, I do love my body and I'm fine with the way it is, but occasionally it takes a lot of convincing for me to believe it.

It's funny, when I was younger I tried my best to gain weight because I didn't like how skinny I was and how underweight I've been. Then something changed, and now I can't help but see how much "skinny fat" I've got and now I want to lose that. Even though I know it's fine and that overall, it's not really going to change anyone's opinions of me, right? But that still doesn't stop me from unconsciously sucking in my stomach on a daily basis or worry about how much weight I've gained, even though I know most of it is probably muscle weight since I've been moving around more, mainly for work.

In the end, loving my body is a continual learning process that will stay with me my whole life. And no matter what, I shouldn't base my self worth on that (even if society does pressure me to do so.) My self worth is more than that. Way more than that.

And now the weather:
Good Thing by Zedd and Kehlani
I already got a good thing with me
~ Stacy N.
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11/27/19

Relationships and social media

Photo by Christina Morillo
On behalf of a friend, I am wondering when it should be appropriate to start introducing your (romantic) relationship to your friends, family, and social media. Yes, I am very much aware that it varies upon relationship to relationship and that it does happen in stages and overall it needs to involve the consent of all sides and ensure that everyone is comfortable with it. However, is there a general consensus of when that should happen? And who has the right to know first?

It's funny how we didn't need to think about this like a century ago (or at most 50 years ago). However, with the introduction of technology (aka computers or more specifically the internet), we as a human species started thinking about how to show off our relationship online trying to garner the opinions of thousands of strangers. When really, in the end, that doesn't matter. All that matters is the opinions of you and your partner and those closest to the both of you, but namely your pet. (Even if it does freak out the both of you.)

And now the weather:
Good Day by Surfaces
~ Stacy N.
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11/20/19

speechless (letters part 11)

Photo by Roman Kraft
Dear person who will definitely know that it's them when they read this,
Isn't it ironic that I'm a writer of some sort? I'm supposed to have all the words and know the best metaphors to describe the overwhelmings of life, but when it comes to you, you've left me completely speechless. And that is honestly the best thing I can ask for because there isn't anything in the world that can be compared to you or our love for each other. Cảm ơn ♥

And now the weather:
Speechless by Dan & Shay cover by John & Krystina
After all this time I'm just as nervous / Every time you walk into the room
~ Stacy N.
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6/12/18

Letters part 10 [still year 2 of college thoughts]

Picture by Takmeomeo
Note: I had to rewrite letter 8 three times before settling into something that I liked and not so embarrassing.

Dear person I still kind of like,
I could say screw you for ruining my plans for staying single forever, but I’m not because that plan could still be on the table. Instead, I want to say this. Even though it may not look like it, I am writing this around 12:40 AM, the time when my tired brain isn’t in the mood to put up its usual defenses when it comes to thinking about you. But, it never put up any defenses against you in the first place, except for the few times when I need to focus like when I’m at work or doing schoolwork.

Around this time, I start listening to cheesy love songs, preferably by Asian American youtubers (representation matters y’all, plus, I find it comforting). And then come the questions. The uneasy ones, the ones that I always find myself asking. Do I like you for you or is it because you remind me of an ex? Do I like you for you or is it because I’m subconsciously into this certain type? Do I just miss the concept of being in a relationship? Do I miss being held? Etc.

After that are the what if’s. What if you turn out to not be who I assumed you were and vice versa? What if you don’t actually support my tattoo? What if I only like you for your hair? What if you’re not an intersectional feminist (or an intersectional feminist ally?) What if we actually do end up dating and it sucks yet we still stick it out even though it hurts us both?

Finally, that certain what if comes up, the one that ends up like this: what if we do end up dating and we’re actually happy together? That then leads to cute, fluffy images of us being together. And then that leads to somewhere else that doesn't involve sex because I'm still an asexual. And I'm pretty damn sure that I'm always going to be asexual. All the meanwhile, there’s this weird warm, twisty feeling in my stomach and I’m not quite sure if my heart is beating a bit faster. But, I still can't help but get scared because I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship again.

And then, I get too tired and stop and then get ready for bed. My logical side telling me that it will never happen because I’m already busy enough. And that Asian parents were right, don’t date while you’re in school because they’ll only distract you from your studies. All the while, another side is telling me to just ask you out for lunch already and be a responsible adult. However, a part of me knows that I’m not brave enough to do that just yet, maybe, never.

And now the weather:
I'm Yours by Alessia Cara

Some nerve you have / To break up my lonely / ... / I wasn't trying to fall in love but, boy, you pushed me

~ Stacy N.
P.S. Funny how irrelevant a few of my posts seem compared to now. 
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6/20/16

Irony

Photo by Rowan Heuvel
For a person who's so against being in a relationship with another person, it's funny how I often watch romantic videos (strictly for research purposes) and how I often write about it. And that is because I like seeing other people happy in a way that is different from mine. It's interesting and cute. :3
(Just don't make me be that awkward third wheel).

And now the weather:
I Really Like You by Carly Rae Jepsen
~ Stacy N.
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3/28/16

What is romantic?

Photographed by Oscar E.
Creative Commons
On Friday, I posted about how Edward and Bella’s relationship from Twilight is quite creepy once you realize that it’s an abusive relationship. So that got me thinking about what is a romantic and healthy relationship? And I concluded that it’s having some space and independence; trust that your partner won’t do anything that you wouldn’t do behind your back; communicating about your problems, worries, goals, happiness, and anything else in between, even if it seems tiny in the moment; honesty about almost everything (if you’re lying because you want to surprise your partner with a gift that you know they like, then lie but don’t be hurtful about it); putting in effort from both sides of the party; actually trying to find the time to be together making good on that time, and making the most out of it; consent and abiding by that consent, and it doesn’t have to be just sexual consent but consent on other things too (not to the point where you have to ask your partner if you can even hang out with anybody else); respecting your partner's choices and opinions, even if you don't always agree with them; dedication and not giving up when times get rough; listening to your partner; not taking your partner for granted aka gratefulness and expressing that gratefulness; and being content to be in that relationship in the first place. To me that’s romantic. And if you’re not willing to go through all of that because of all the hard work you have to put into it, then don’t be in a serious relationship with anyone.

And now the weather:
Sound Of Your Heart by Shawn Hook
~ Stacy N.
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2/13/15

Beautiful People: Love is in the Air

Text reads: beautiful people for writers
hosted by www.paperfury.com 
& www.furtherup-and-furtherin.blogspot.com
Beautiful People is a monthly blog meme hosted by Cait @ Paper Fury and Sky @ Further Up and Further in. Every month they post 10 questions for you to answer about your characters.
In honor of Valentine's day, this month's blog meme will be about your favorite couple from your story.

This is the first time that I've done Beautiful People by Cait and Sky. And even though I follow other bloggers who do the meme, I've never really gotten around to it, till now.

After playing eeny, meeny, miny, moe a few times to choose which of my three favorite couples I will write about today, it ended up failing. Because I simply couldn't choose one. So the three couples I'll write about today will be Rain and Beth from Immortality Doesn't Exist, Lana and Parker from Shh, Silence is Golden, and Eliza and Peter from The Shadow & her Lover

And now without further ado, here are the questions.

1. How long have they been a couple?
Rain and Beth eventually start dating between the second and third book for the Immortality Doesn’t Exist series, and that lasts for a few weeks before Beth dies.
While Lana and Parker have been dating for a few months before Shh, Silence is Golden starts. However, it’s a secret relationship that only lasts in the night.
And Eliza and Peter start dating somewhere along the course of their story, The Shadow & her Lover.

2. How did they first meet?
Beth was falling down a hole and ends up in Rain’s basement.  Because Beth was trying to escape the burning, golden dust that makes up the whole sky.
Lana and Parker met through some mutual friends of theirs.
And Eliza and Peter meet in a park. Peter showing off his fencing skills as usual, while Eliza is reading a book.

3. What were their first thoughts of each other? (Love at first sight or “you’re freakishly annoying”?)
Rain’s first thought of Beth was, what the hell is a strange girl doing in my basement? Where did she come from and how? While Beth’s first thought was, who is she? She’s kind of cute.
Lana and Parker immediately hated each other when they first met. Because Lana seemed like a know-it-all and Parker was the overly religious guy who spouted irrelevant bible verses that didn't fit in with the conversation at all.
While Eliza and Peter were immediately enchanted with each other.

4. What do they do that most annoys each other?
Beth is often annoyed when Rain shape-shifts, because she’s jealous that Rain has cooler powers. While Rain is annoyed by Beth’s stubborn nature.
Lana gets easily ticked off when Parker starts to randomly spout irrelevant bible verses and how easily he forgets about her during the day. While Parker isn’t very happy about the fact that Lana easily dismisses their kisses as meaning something more.
Eliza is annoyed that Peter isn’t willing to do something more, when they’re making out. Little remembering that he’s an asexual. While Peter is more annoyed with Eliza’s many glasses of wine that she drinks in a week.

5. Are their personalities opposite or similar?
Rain and Beth have very few things in common. Other than being paranormals, Beth is the spoiled, annoying child while Rain is the perfect, selfless child. But both have that need to be wanted.
Lana and Parker are surprisingly more alike than they originally thought. They’re both ambiverts, manipulative, vengeful, and very afraid of losing their loved ones.
Peter and Eliza are almost complete opposites of each other. Peter is the adventurous, charming, asexual, space pirate. While Eliza is the sensible, introverted, horny, bookworm, who’s often dreaming of a more exciting life for herself.

6. How would their lives be different without each other?
Beth would still be a “normal” human being, going to school and hanging out with friends, and just living a normal human life. While Rain would have married her best friend Lynn and live a perfectly normal Bionovian life.
Parker would have continued to go onto missions for the government, eventually dying one mysterious morning. While Lana would have been learning how to talk and fall for Ethan.
Peter would still continue working for Eliza’s mom, hooking up with a few people here and there. Eventually running away again. While Eliza would still stay at home and read and read and read.

7. Are they ever embarrassed of each other?
Rain and Beth: yes.
Lana and Parker: yes.
Eliza and Peter: yes.
The key to not being embarrassed of your loved one is to accept their flaws and eccentricities, which they all learn throughout the course of their story.

8. Does anyone disapprove of their relationship?
Other than Rain’s parents, everyone else is pretty accepting about Beth’s and Rain’s relationship.
A few of Lana’s friends would have disapproved of her relationship with Parker, if they ever found out.
And while everyone else is pretty accepting about Eliza’s and Peter’s relationship, Eliza’s mom stands in the way.

9. Do they see their relationship as long-term/leading to marriage?
Unfortunately for Beth and Rain, no. Because Beth dies and turns into dark, smoggy form that has a vague shape of her old body, which isn’t a ghost.
Lana and Parker also doesn’t work out because Lana dies somewhere along the storyline.
However, Eliza and Peter do end up staying in a long-term relationship that ends with marriage. After having twin boys.

10. If they could plan the “perfect outing” together, where would they go?
Beth and Rain would go to a bright, green, beautiful garden with the sun shining just right and the birds singing just so.
Lana and Parker would go to a sandy beach house.
While Eliza and Peter would go to France’s countryside.

And now the weather:
- Mercy by Duffy
~ Stacy N.
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10/11/13

What I want in life

“I think there's just one kind of folks. Folks.”
― Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird
The world to understand that women and minorities and people in general are just, well people.
Someone to say, I’m glad you’re alive and actually mean it.
A deep self-love for myself.
To be a “Doctor’s” companion or to have a companion so the Doctor in me won't be lonely.
Equal rights for everyone.
Someone who I can easily talk to without a worry that they’re going to judge me.
People to admit to me that I’m an idiot sometimes.
The United States school system to change and allow students to learn when they’re ready.
A [romantic] relationship with someone who likes Doctor Who and books and is also generally open-minded and is willing to learn.
To get my driver’s license without fear of failing my driver’s test.
A dog to be there for me when I’m down (and who’s also a good snuggling partner).
People to understand that rape, sexual assault, and abuse don’t just apply to women.
People to understand that feminism is about equality and breaking down the patriarchy.
People to be more open-minded in general.
People to understand that being an ally for the lgbtqa community means more than supporting gay marriage.
Women have a right to do with whatever they want to their bodies without feeling ashamed.
People should do what they think what’s right for themselves without being ashamed in general.
Racism, sexism, and intolerance of any sort should stop in general.
People to be supportive.
People to be kind.
Me to starting writing more often.
Me to read more books.
Eventually to learn some languages again, such as Vietnamese, French, and a little bit of sign language.
Me to be a better friend.
Me to try to become a better person.
To be successful in terms of happiness and contentedness, not in terms of money.
My kids to live freely, yet still knowing the dangers and injustices of this world.
Education to be accessible to everyone.
Higher education to be cheaper.
Schools to start later, like around nine am, because humans function better at that time.
And to live a life that I’m in control of, influenced by many kinds of events, people, ideas, etc.


~ Stacy N.
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9/30/13

I think I'm fallin' for you

A playlist that more or less describes the relationship between two characters that are going to be in my upcoming nanowrimo 2013 novel.










~ Stacy N.
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7/8/11

Quote #10

We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find. 





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4/12/11

A WW 2 fiction story

It was a quiet night in the small Arkansas town. The weather wasn’t too warm, nor to cold but just right. The stars were as bright as diamonds, gleaming as softly as they can ever be. The smell of lilacs, roses, and other wild flowers in the air, making me dizzy and a bit light headed. It was also the perfect night to relax, with friends and family, and maybe with someone special. I sigh sadly while I braid my sister’s brunette hair. As thoughts of love and heartbreak, fill my distraught brain. “What’s wrong sissy?” asked my sister noticing my sad sigh. “Nothing Mi-Mi,” I say trying not to sound sad. “Don’t lie sissy, I know that something is bothering you,” she says not letting the subject go. “No it’s nothing Mi-Mi. See I’m happy as a mouse with cheese,” I say turning her around to see my fake smile. “Are you sure, because you seemed so sad when Jonathan left yesterday afternoon.” My heart started to squeeze painfully, at the sound of his name. And I very wanted to slap Mi-Mi, telling her to stop asking about it, but I couldn’t, knowing that it was very wrong of me to do so. I sigh again only in annoyance, and say, “Yes Mi-Mi I’m sure, and no it has nothing to do with Jonathan.” It was hard to say his name, because it bought back a flood of memories of times when I was his, and he was mine.
 I check the time on the watch that father gave me, before he went to fight off in the war. A deep longing for him lodges in my heart, as well as eagerness, and happiness flooding me all over, temporarily making me forget Jonathan. “Mi-Mi will you go inside, and set the table for mother and father’s return?” “Ok,” she says running off into the house, finally leaving me alone. I sit on the porch, my legs dangling off of the side, as I look past the gate waiting for mother and father to get home. The night was quiet except for the crickets chirping and the soft almost silent music coming from next door. Off in the distance I see a person quickly approaching this way. I couldn’t tell who it was, only that it was a he judging from the silhouette. My heartbeat started beating loud in my ears; my heart was hoping it was Jonathan while my mind knew it cannot be. Secretly I was hoping that he changed his mind, and realized that he made a mistake. The footsteps were getting closer, and closer, I closed my eyes.
“Hello Mille,” said an oddly familiar voice. I opened my eyes, and for the first time in the past day or two, start to smile, because my long close friend has finally come home from the war. “Ace?” I ask not believing my eyes. “Yep, I’m right here aren’t I? The one and only Ace,” he says smiling his joyful smile. I couldn’t help it I jumped down from the porch and went to hug him. A bit surprised that he haven’t even changed in the last 18 months. He accepted the hug, by hugging me tightly; almost one of his crushing bears hugs. That did it. I started to bury my head in his chest, and just decide to let all the long awaited tears out.”What’s wrong?” he asks not letting go of me just yet. “Nothing it’s, it’s just that…,” I can’t do it; I just can’t seem to tell him about what happened between Jonathan and me just yet. “Is it about Jonathan?” he says reading my mind like always. Tear after tear starts streaming down my eyes, as I remain quiet, the truth obvious. He sighs, “You know Millie he wasn’t really good with relationships, but he seemed to hold on to you for a while. But maybe you should start to move on, and realize other guys.” My mind didn’t really quite comprehend what he was saying; wait was he suggesting? “What are you saying?” “Well…” he said acting nervous. He starts twirling me around softly making us start to dance. If you call swaying, side by side a dance. I look up at him with confused, comprehending eyes trying to read his unreadable face. “Well what I’m s-s-saying is,” he falters, a bad habit of his whenever he gets nervous. “That there was someone out there,” I say piecing it together. “Yeah that there’s someone out there for you, now bye,” he says start to quickly walk away from me.
“Wait!” I say grabbing his hand. Amazingly, he didn’t pull him away, as I expected him to do. Only he came back and stood in front of me relaxing a little. “Please finish what you were saying,” I ask softly almost incoherently. He takes a deep breath, and decides to hold my hands. “Well I think that there is someone better for you instead of Jonathan. Someone like…,” he says it slowly, so I could figure it out. “Someone like you?” I say looking into his eyes. He nods his head a bit stiffly, and tries to manage an easygoing smile. Understanding comes to me, as I realize why Ace has been acting different to me these past couple of years. It explained why he always stutters and always looks a bit uncomfortable when we’re alone, why he was flirting a teensy bit when we wrote to each other. It was all because he had a crush on me. And as I realize it, I guess I’ve had a crush on him too, without really knowing it. He must have seen it in my eyes, for we started dancing again. I start smiling a huge smile, and rest my head on his shoulder. “So do you like me or not?” he says whispering in my ear. And I nod, contended. That must have satisfied him for he gave me a quick kiss on my head, making me forget about what happened with Jonathan yesterday. I sigh a contended sigh; glad for the people in my life about how they’ve impacted it in a great way.


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4/2/11

Quote #2

You know everyone loves to hate a happy pair of lovebirds~ Lauren Kate

No you sick, stupid creep, I love you. I shouldn't. I shouldn't. You're sick inside, Caine, sick! But I love you~ Michael Grant

Is falling in love with someone's story the same thing as falling in love with the person himself?~ Ally Condie

Tucker: "Why would you tell me now if it's against the rules?"
Clara: "Because I love you."~ Cynthia Hand

"We're young," he says. "We've got lots of time to fall in love."~ Cynthia Hand

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams~ Dr. Seuss

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love~ Dr.. Seuss












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3/20/11

Love

Love is everywhere, anywhere. Without it, what would the world be like? Just people acting hateful or just indifferent. No crazy romantic movies. Not even the famous tale of Romeo and Juliet, plus a bunch of other Shakespeare's stories. Plus without love, there would probably just be war. And who the heck would want war 24/7?



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