i am typing in lowercase for a reason

photo by alena darmel on pexels

dear me,

do you know what sucks? trauma and dysfunctional families. it got to the point where i started crying when reading books by vietnamese american authors this year. all because it hit waaaaay too close to home. shit, it felt like i am in those strange family relationships at this point in my life. and you know what? crying is okay, and i have a support system that i can count on to help me get through this. even though i am not willing to spill the beans on what my family life is like, at least i know people will be there to at least keep my mind off of things. even though i know i should go to therapy for this. but hey, at least it's not drugs or anything very self-destructive. so yay on that part.

sincerely,

a mess of a being

and now the weather:

numb little bug by em beihold

~ stacy n.

Read More

good luck bro

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich on Pexels

Hero's Journey

Go on it, and then in the end you teach others about what you've learned. 

In this case, teaching my brother about what I've learned in the hopes that he doesn't repeat the past.

I don't know if it worked. But I do know that I worry about him. And I hope that he doesn't end up making the same mistakes that a lot of other people end up making.

But let's see what fate has in store for him. And if stuff happens, stuff happens. All I could do is warn him, but not interfere with the outcome (under very limited circumstances.) After all, it is his life and he needs to face it.

From,

a very worried sister

And now the weather:

Moominvalley Movie 2019 Soundtrack

~ Stacy N.

Read More

What my mother taught me

Photo by Ylanite Koppens on Pexels

Dear mẹ của con,

Thank you for teaching me how to not give a fuck about what I'm wearing. After all, the most important thing is my smile and confidence, of course.

Even though it feels hard to do since it feels so engrained in Vietnamese (or is it more Việt kiều?) culture to one-up each other; pass judgment onto others; and turn everything into a competition. And the best way to prove that you come from a respectable (or at least decent) family is to show that in your clothing.

That gets tiring. I just want to dress up as a slob sometimes and show others that what really matters is your morals. After all, that's what's going to be judged in the afterlife. Not our clothing choices, but your actions and values and all that. 

Oh yeah, you also taught me to massage my face (which I still don't ever do.)

And now the weather:

Thanh by Thịnh Suy

~ Stacy N.

Read More

Lifescouts badge #27: Summer's past

Barbecues have changed in my family. It started out as being held in the summer with chicken on the grill with some juicy watermelon. Now it’s held whenever, in a casual manner with hamburgers, hot dogs, and bacon getting cooked on the grill. 

~ Stacy N.

Read More