Thoughts Untold

A short story.

~.~.~.~.~

                His arms slip around her waist. She didn’t have the energy to shake them off. Nor having the courage to say whatever is on her mind. For there was a growing fear - that has been within her since her time began – that has been stopping her. It has been stopping her more often these days especially when she was with him.

It feels like an imprisonment, she thought, however gentle the imprisonment is.  

He rests his chin on her head, drawing her a bit closer to himself. The smell of her hair makes him feel a bit lightheaded.

Almost as lightheaded as meth, he thought only without the chemical like smell.

He sniffs her hair, smiling a bit as memories of grandmothers and strawberry fields starts to enter his mind. Not noticing the way her shoulders haunch up, her body growing as rigid as a boulder among the frigid sea.

I have to tell him, it wouldn’t be fair if he found out the hard way… if he lived that long. The sudden truth of his announcement came rushing back up to her. Causing her body to grow slack, as tears start to make their way up to her dry eyes. At least this time around, he noticed the sudden change in the way she holds her body.

“What’s wrong?” he asks in a quivering voice, reminding her of his five-year-old self.

Now’s the chance to tell him what’s really going on in my life, she thinks to herself. And as she opens her mouth just to do just that. He suddenly flinches as if he has suddenly been hit by his abusive alcohol-addicted father. Now it was her turn to ask him what was wrong.

“Nothing,” he says quickly trying to smile only having it turn into a grimace. She looks up into his childlike silver eyes, a worry creeping into her practical green ones. He sighs, his sickly thin frame almost tired from the effort.

“It’s…” he trails off a bit worried from how she’ll react.

It’s obviously not nothing, she thinks refraining her mouth from saying those words out loud. Instead, she continued staring up at him, giving him the confidence to continue on.

“It’s just... a memory attack, I-I guess you can say,” quickly averting his eyes to stare at something else.

“I’m sorry,” she says in a genuinely sincere voice filled with a hint of her sadness and fear that she has been feeling for the past few days. A part of her hoping he’ll hear it and comment on it.

“It’s okay, it wasn’t really anything,” he says though both of them knowing that it’s a lie. But that seemed a bit too much for her, causing tears - that were willing to be shed since he first told her that news just a couple of days ago at this time exactly – to fall over her dry eyes and land with an inaudible plink onto his arm. He gently wiped her eyes away as words start to pack into his brain willing to be said out loud. 

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A song reminding me of two of my charries

And those two charries are Marino De Luca and Angel *Hopkins. The book(s) that they're in involves air, and yet while listening to the song I keep of thinking them bumping heads against heads with each other while in a gray ocean near a gray cliff with a gray cloud hanging in the gray sky. Don't ask what's with all the gray because I have no clue either.

Song: Hanging By A Moment
Artist: Lifehouse
Random quote: I'm chasing after you
~.~.~
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

 *Last name for Angel may change at any moment

Charries - Short for characters

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LGBT Rights

Last day of Important Conversations from Not At All Stupid.
And it's going to be in pictures.

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Racial prejudice and Feminism

Never judge by its cover as they say. Only could we help it if we do happen to judge it to see if it's interesting or not? Same thing with humans, judging other humans. We always seem to judge each other on our race, what we wear, our skin color, etc. just to see if they're interesting at a first glance, whether we intended to or not. But for most of the time we let it slide off and not say it out loud, and try to get to know the other person. But if some of us says it out loud, well that's bad. It means that they're not going to let their judgement slide out the door, and will probably refuse to get to know the other person. Most likely causing some consequences in the future, just like the whole slavery thing, the Civil War, and the 1960(?)s, and the whole German, and Japanese people in the United States living as 'regular people' during WW2.

Feminism

I can't really think of anything to say other than it doesn't have to be a girl it can be a guy that has a bit more feminism as well. And that we both have masculine and feminism sides, it's just that girls feminism side shows up more, and vice versa for the guy. So now onto random pictures that may or may not fit with feminism. 

* Caution some of the pictures swears*

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Randomly sad for no reason at all

And this song isn't really helping my mood at all. However, I like it. 

Broken ~ Lifehouse.

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight

Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time

I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts

I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing

With a broken heart that's still beating

In the pain, there is healing

In your name I find meaning

So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on

I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head

I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead

I still see your reflection inside of my eyes

That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing

with a broken heart that's still beating

In the pain (in the pain), is there healing

In your name (in your name) I find meaning

So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')

I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day

Just to see what you throw my way

And I'm hanging on to the words you say

You said that I will be OK

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone

I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing

with a broken heart that's still beating

In the pain(In the pain) there is healing

In your name I find meaning

So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),

I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),

I'm barely holdin' on to you

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Civil Rights

Civil Rights (plural noun) ~ basic rights that all citizens of society are supposed to have, e.g. the right to vote or to receive fair treatment from the law.
These rights as conceived in U.S. law are set forth in the 13th and 14th Amendments to the U.S. Constitution and in some congressional acts.

Source: The dictionary on my computer

Civil Rights (plural noun) (often initial capital letters NPL) ~
1. Rights to personal liberty established by the 13th and 14th Amendments to the U.S. constitution and certain Congressional acts, especially as applied to an individual or a minority group.
2. The rights to full legal, social, and economic equality extended to blacks.
Source: dictionary.com 

Examples of civil rights:
- Women voting
- African Americans trying to get equality and trying not to look like they're trash all the time to the white people. 
- Homosexuals, transgender, bi and others trying to get same sex marriage approved. 

My opinion:

“Now we're in that sweet period where everyone agrees that our recent horrors should never be repeated. But collective thinking is usually short-lived. We're fickle, stupid beings with poor memories and a great gift for self-destruction.”  ~ Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

It means that no matter what there won't be much equality in the world. We're always changing our minds, forgetting what has happened in the past, and is bound to repeat it again and again. We're always having people trying to get civil rights again and again for different reasons. A right for everyone to vote, a right for colored people to attend the same schools/work/store, and sit anywhere on a bus, and others. Trying to be like the other people, doing what the other people are doing. And now a right for everyone to get married even if they're transgender, bi, or homosexual. How will it end? Will it end peacefully giving them the right to get married everywhere? Or will it end in war such as the the civil war (which originally was trying to get the confederate/southern states to not separate from the rest of the United States, before abolishing slavery later along the way)? It won't really matter because in the end there will be the right to marry anyone you like with no consequences in the end. Because that's civil, and it's a right, not a banned law. 

And plus every single human being whether they like a person of the same sex, colored, dumb, genius, handicapped, etc. deserves to have the same rights anyways. And in a way so does animals even though they're not human. They're being tested, abused, and getting put to sleep, not really having a right in any of those things. But maybe in the future, us humans and animals might have a protest demanding that every single living being equal and civil rights. 

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Day two et three

Of Important Conversations. In which I forgot to post yesterday and apologize because I was being my lazy self. Now onto the post which is about self-confidence and censorship.

Day two: Self-confidence

Self-confidence

Easily breakable

Like hard clay

But a bit hard to put back together

Self-confidence

Having webs of cracks

Like a mirror

Kindness and genuine compliments

Can help mend it

Smiles helps

Tears don’t

‘Jokes’

Being mean

Society’s view on beauty

Words

All like a hammer

Pounding

Pounding

Pounding

Till it all shatters

Into varying pieces

And only then can

Smiles

 Compliments

Happiness,

Acts of kindness

And society actually realizing what true beauty really is

Can fix the pieces

Day three: Censorship

It all depends on the censorship. Censorship against swearing especially on television on my opinion can be good because it can help teach people that it's a bad thing to say. And plus it's better that the younger generation doesn't know about those words yet, because it's inappropriate and I wouldn't want them tasting nothing but soap for a couple of days/weeks. 

Bad language is a stage all children go through, and it dies with time when they learn they're not attracting attention with it.  ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird, Chapter 9, spoken by the character Atticus

But if it's a censorship on the internet for copyright reasons. Now that's plain dumb, especially if politics is trying to get you to buy more Hollywood movies. And that's what SOPA, IP [something], and ACTA (a scarier version of SOPA and it's mostly private and international) is. So say no to them and be glad that congress (hopefully) set it aside. Because if most of the internet is blocked off because of copyright stuff, then it's going to be a harder life then. Since the internet is becoming much more sociable and useful now days. Without it well... hello libraries you're probably going to get full again. 

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Change for a dollar

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Bullying

Katie from Not At All Stupid is having an Important Conversation blog event for the next week or so. And today's blog topic is about bullying. If you want to join in or want to tell a person about it go here, to tell her. I'm sure she'll appreciate it very much.

Plus I'm going to join in for all or a couple of them, so be prepared.

                         Bullying, it’s how safe schools started. Because of one or a group of bullies and some unhelpful bystanders wouldn’t stop ‘teasing’ one or a group of kids. In fact, the ‘teasing’ got to a level where it’s so bad that the victim decided to one day defend him/herself by bringing a weapon to school one day. Most likely, the weapon was a gun, and most likely, that gun wasn’t a toy gun. And most likely, that gun wasn’t going to stay hidden very long. Then the terror came when the victim started to shoot everyone the bullies, the unhelpful bystanders, and some of the teachers. The school under lockdown, everyone under tables trying hard not to breath for fear that they might get shot. Police waiting outside trying to get the situation sorted out.

                All this happened because of bullying. All because of the bully ‘teasing’, that the victim had to endure day in and day out. It might eventually lead to that or to something worse and that is suicide. And don’t think I’m kidding when I said that victims of bullying bought a gun to school and shot people. It used to happen a long time ago all around the world as well, before safe schools happened, before most of the schools started to get a bit stricter. Now days that’s rare, now days the victim would probably commit suicide. Unwilling to tell anyone about it because for fear that the person he/she told won’t listen, or probably think it’s all a joke.

                And if you’re a victim of bullying and told the school about it, but the school won’t help. Just know that you’re not alone. Just know that there are other people who are experiencing the same thing you’re feeling. And just tell someone, please? Because I swear, it will help you feel better. Even though it may seem like a big mistake, but trust me it won’t be a mistake.  It will be a lifeline out of bullying. 

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A Peeta quote

If I die, I still want to be me. 

Peeta Mellmark, The Hunger Games (movie?)

I finally get this quote, after maybe of two or one year(s) of not really thinking much about it. But after reading the book The Girl Who Was On Fire by about fourteen authors. In short the book is an anthology, and it gives you a different way of looking at The Hunger Game series, gives you more of an in depth and philosophy about the trilogy. Hey maybe I'll write a book review on it, tomorrow or on Sunday. 

Well now I'm rambling a bit, and now I shall stop. The quote that is featured, means that Peeta would still want to be his baker, non murderer self when he dies. He also doesn't want to be crazy and act like some of the other tributes since the game started. Because in a way he knows that he's worth much more than that, not a piece in the Capitol's games. While Katniss is still trying to grasp that concept for a long while.

Now go read the book The Girl Who Was On Fire it will make you realize how in-depth the Hunger Games really is.

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Why people prefer books over life

Books say: She did this because. Life says: She did this. Books are where things are explained to you; life is where things aren't. I'm not surprised some people prefer books.

~ Julian Barnes

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SAY NO TO SOPA

Stop Online Piracy Act

It's where, the government will shut down / sue any site that doesn't have a copy right infringement. Aka not telling where the site got its sources. Which in my view is just plain dumb, and plus won't it violate our first right as an American citizen. Our freedom of speech. 
And if Congress passes this law, millions of sites might get shut down... like yours or mine, youtube, facebook, twitter and others. It might also mean that we can go to jail for five years just for having copyright infringement.

Links:
Video explaining SOPA ~ http://fightforthefuture.org/pipa
Video credit ~ http://fightforthefuture.org/
How to strike: http://sopastrike.com/#how-to-strike
Blackout SOPA: http://www.blackoutsopa.org/


Join this, or not it's your choice. But beware there might be consequences in the future either way.

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What is beauty?

Beauty isn’t defined by society. It’s defined by you. True beauty isn’t what you see in magazines, television, and stuff. True beauty is simply being you. And here's a video made by some girls that are in college talking what it's like to be pressured to be thin, skinny, and perfect.

It's making me a bit angry, knowing how the media has affected us, by defining what real 'true' beauty is. 

Links: 

An amazing site called Proud 2 be me. It's a project from the NEDA aka the National Eating Disorder Association, and it talks about healthy body attitudes, and having a postivie relationship with food and weight. I recommend everyone to go check it out, even when you don't think you may have an eating disorder. It may help for someone that you do know that has an eating disorder. So go check it out now. 

And if you're Asian, or Asian American like me and am trying to find the 'perfect' body, please go here. It's Thick Dumpling Skin, and it helps Asians/ Asian Americans find out that you don't have to do anything drastic to be skinny (such as not eating) in fact, you don't have to be skinny at all. You just have to be you, and be happy. And go to that site if you're having issues with your food and body. 

And please, everyone, don't do anything drastic to have the 'perfect' body. Because you're perfect just the way you are. I promise. 

And don't let the media, people, or even you say that you're not perfect. But guess what... no one is perfect. 

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